Arby 'n' the Chief
From Halo Machinima
Arby 'n' the Chief is the sequel series to Jon Graham's smash hit, Master Chief Sucks at Halo. The series is a sitcom that follows the antics of Graham's two Halo 3 action figures, Master Chief and The Arbiter, as they play Halo 3 and argue about topics in video game pop culture.
When HaloBabies interviewed Graham and asked what inspired the characters, he replied; "Master Chief is the epitome of every illiterate, non-nonsensical idiot I've come across in the online world, and the Arbiter is basically a representation of me." As such, the two characters compose the classical double act structure, with Chief assuming the role of the "funny man" and Arbiter the role of the "straight man".
The series is well received among the machinima community for its sharp satire of gamer culture and its combination of both live-action and machinima elements.
[edit] Plot
[edit] Season 1
[edit] Episode 1: "Pilot"
After the events of Master Chief Sucks At Halo, Master Chief became a "lonely alcoholic." Master Chief has a dream that he dramatically wins a Halo 3 online match, and is awarded heavily by Bungie staff 1 billion dollars and infinite girlfriends. He gets a rude awakening when the buzzing phone rings about a package for Jon. Master Chief states that he is Jon and receives the package from the delivery person (Played by Jon Graham). Master Chief ponders what is the contents before going back on the xbox360. The contents of the box escapes and uses a frying pan to overpowers a kitchen-knife wielding Master Chief, who cowers before the contained Arbiter figure, who was bought in an E-bay auction. Whilst playing Halo 3 Matchmaking, the Arbiter demonstrates superior intelligence and greater gaming skills than that of the Chief. The two have multiple arguments, particularly on subjects such as the Arbiter's opinion on the Heroic Map Pack. Chief takes everything the Arbiter says and turns it into a sexual joke, then Chief starts to play Halo, and is insulted by the Arbiter because of his bad skills at Halo. Chief hits Arbiter over the head with Jon's saucepan. Arbiter sacrasticly comments on how great this new relationship will be. The episode ends with Chief giving off his well-known "Lolololololololol".
I R GUY HO GUN T33CH U LSSN
[edit] Episode 2: "Recon"
The episode begins with the characters breaking the fourth wall as Chief recalls the argument in episode one after noticing that Bungie has posted a sarcastic link to the video on their home page. Cheif fails to spot this sarcasm, and the Arbiter tells him he should stop being an idiot. Chief has a secret plan to get the Recon Armour Permutation from Bungie Studios. He agrees to show the Arbiter, who is impressed by it's complexity, but the requirements are "somewhat, out of reach". As the Chief cries, Arbiter comforts him, and tells him to write an email to Bungie. However, all he writes is 'can i has recon plz?', so the Arbiter agrees to write it instead. While playing Halo 3 matchmaking, Chief pestures the Arbiter to tell Bungie in the e-mail that he has a disease in hopes that Bungie will have sympathy on him, but Arbiter refuses each time. Chief whins saying that it will not work, but Arbiter tries to provide comfort. Later when Arbiter is playing Call of Duty 4, Chief calls Arbiter a traitor for playing something other than Halo 3.
[edit] Episode 3: "Attitude"
Amazingly, Chief recieved the Recon Armour Permutation. But his attitude has turned rotten and he brags on about it to players across Halo 3 Matchmaking for hours at a time. The Arbiter tries to tell him that no-one cares, but he gets un-necessarily angry at the Arbiter, throwing the controller at him. He finds the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare case, takes it into the bathroom, snaps the game disc and tries to flush all the contents down the toilet, with obvious failure. He tries to fool the Arbiter with a poorly drawn case containing a cookie with a hole in the middle. The Arbiter has to buy a replacement copy, and locks the Chief in the bathroom to unclog the toilet as consequence of his aggression.
[edit] Episode 4: "Melee"
- The Arbiter is building levels in the Forge mode of Halo 3, whilst Chief pretends to be drunk on bottled water. The Arbiter challenges him to a one-on-one game. The two fight, but due to the melee system, the Arbiter gets a kill that should have been the Chief's. (A reference to Halo 3's very unreliable melee system which actually gives the healthier player the kill in a melee clash, even if the unhealthier player melees first!)
- - Chief almost sends a very angry email to Bungie, blaming them for making a poor melee system, which causes his rank to go down. The Arbiter convinces him not to, and tells him to chill out. He then asks Chief why he even cares about his rank, since he is so bad at the game anyway.
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[edit] Episode 5: "Martyrdom"
- Arbiter leaves the bathroom (note that his armor is changed to a more golden color) and finds Chief playing Devil May Cry 4. This shocks the Arbiter, since Chief only plays Halo 3, and he hates any other game. Chief explains that Halo 3 was being super laggy. (because he was downloading 713gb of porn) Chief soon gets frustrated at this game as well (because he can't defeat a boss), so the Arbiter decides he wants to play Call of Duty 4. He cancels Chief's download, which makes him mad.
- - To cheer Chief up, Arbiter offers him a go on Call of Duty 4. Chief tries making his own class, but wants to know what 'Martyrdom' is. The Arbiter explains that it is a poor game mechanic which he does not like, because everyone uses it. Chief activates it anyway. He starts the match, and unsurprisingly, is incredibly bad . The Chief fired at random and tried grenade spamming. Although another player killed him the screen clearly indicated that the chief killed a player with Martyrdom, giving him 60 EXP. 10 for the kill and 50 for the Martyrdom "veteran" challenge. Arbiter gives him the instructions to read, but Chief ignores it, and goes back on the computer. After getting a massive attack, Arbiter finds Chief reserting his download, and throws a tissue box at him.
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[edit] Episode 6: "Brawl"
- Chief is trying to reach an Easter egg in Halo 3, with some help from the Arbiter. They believe that there is a hidden section of level past a nearly impossible pitfall. The Arbiter tries to use a grenade to propel himself to the other side but is unsuccessful, this cause the Chief to laugh. The Chief tries the same, but does not even throw his grenade. The Arbiter makes fun of Chief to which Chief responds with mom jokes. The Arbiter then tells Chief to shoot a rocket near his feet to boost him across. After hesitating, the Arbiter runs and the Chief purposely shoots him the back while laughing hysterically. Arbiter asks why he did that and the Chief responds by saying his roflcopter goes "SOI SOI SOI SOI". This makes the Arbiter get up and throw down his controller.
The Chief stops Arbiter and asks him for a hug. Arbiter is at first confused by this show of affection by the Chief, who asks "Where is the love?", but eventually hugs him, with the Chief reassuring him that it is all going to be OK. Arbiter admits that he is very uncomfortable. The Arbiter tells Chief he is proud of him being loving and walks off with a sign Chief put on his back during the hug. The sign reads "IM STUPED". This makes Chief giggle.
The Arbiter decides to play Super Smash Bros. Brawl. This makes Chief mad and he says a few mom jokes. The Arbiter asks Chief to change the TV to video three, but the Chief has no idea how to do it, so the Arbiter does it himself.
The Chief decides to broaden his horizons and tells Arbiter he wants to play too. Arbiter picks Wolf and tells Chief to pick his character. The Chief inquiries about why there is no Master Chief. Arbiter explains that it is only Nintendo characters except Solid Snake and Sonic the Hedgehog. Chief retorts that "Mastar Cheef is a pretty cool guy eh kills aleins and doesnt afraid of anythign." Arbiter tells Chief his sentence did not make any sense to which Chief quickly responds, "neethar dos ur face." Chief decides to pick Samus because he thinks the character somewhat looks like Master Chief. Arbiter informs Chief that Samus is a girl which greatly surprises Chief. Chief exclaims "HAWT" and asks Arbiter is she has boobs. Arbiter says most likely in which Chief decides to ask for a high five to celebrate Samus having breasts. Arbiter refuses to engage in the celebration which angers Chief because he is left hanging. This causes Arbiter to ask what is wrong with Chief and asks him if he is high. Chief responds that he is high on life.
- - They begin the match and Chief asks how he shoots his laser beam. Arbiter tells him to press B, the red button. Chief exclaims that the Nintendo Gamecube controller is like lego. Chief charges his laser beam and fires it at Arbiter but Arbiter easily reflects it back at Chief and kills Chief. Chief exclaims "HOLY SHIT!! HAX!!!!" It is revealed that Chief sucks at Super Smash Bros., like he does at all games. This angers Chief incredibly, and he storms proclaiming his hate for the game. After saying that Halo 3 is the best game ever, Chief decides to watch cheap porn. Soon after, the Arbiter finds the sign on his back, causing Chief to start his rolfcopter again and yell "SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI".
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[edit] Season Two
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[edit] Episode 7: "Girls"
- Chief begins to harass female players on Halo 3 matchmaking, one in particular who wears pink armor. His methods of "pickign up hawt chixxx" disgusts the Arbiter, but it is not until that Chief is caught cybering that he decides that he'll teach him how to appropriately behave around girls.
- - After harsh teaching from Arbiter, Chief confronts the female player he has been chasing, and apologizes for his disgraceful behaviour towards her, and lets her go. Just after, Chief and the Arbiter discover Jon had just bought a Cortana Action Figure, who Chief falls in love with, but when talking to her, he shows a complete change back to his original attitude.
- - after seeing cortana he realizes that she is not coverd full and ends up saying "I M3N NIPP3lS" and with that poor old "arbitir" feels that his work with "CH33F' is done GOOO! CH33f GOOOO! lol ROFL
[edit] Episode 8: "Legendary"
- The Arbiter has downloaded the Legendary Map Pack, which he enjoys much more than the Heroic Map Pack. He comments on how good the visual filters are, but when Chief tells him to turn them all on, he says that that would be a poor idea for gameplay, and repeatedly asks Chief who would do such a thing (implying that Chief is that idiot).
- - Ten minutes later, Chief has created his own map, with all the visual filters on. He invites his friends to try out his map, who enjoy it much to Arbiter's surprise. He also shows the map to the Arbiter, but demonstrates a lack of creativity because he has placed every certain type object in one spot, put all the spawn points in one spot, and has made weapons, vehicles and equipment inaccessible. He believes that a map's "c00ln3ss" is measured by the amount of Forge budget money you spend on it, and therefore has spent the entire Forge budget on the map. Both Arbiter and Cortana agreed that Chief's map is "The worst piece of shit map I've ever seen in my life", with a very offensive reply from Chief. Cortana hits Chief with Jon's saucepan, and the Arbiter gives her a high five.
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[edit] Episode 9: "Newcomers"
- While Arbiter is playing Halo 3 Matchmaking with some extremely serious players, Chief is bashing the new Grand Theft Auto 4 on the internet, before noticing another package arrives for Jon. He wonders what's inside it, but no-one can answer his question. Later in the night, he hears crashing. He discovers the contents of the package have broke out. He reaches for a kitchen knife, and discovers a Halo 3 Master Chief and Brute Chieftain Figures. He runs away, screaming, but all they want is food (and beer).
- - Later, the Arbiter gets along well with the newer Master Chief, named Todd, after Todd McFarlene. Todd also introduces Travis, the Brute Chieftain, who gets on well Chief, despite Chief's complete lack of intelligence. Cortana meets Todd, who seem to be instantly attracted to each other, which Chief notices, and becomes enraged by this.
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[edit] Episode 10: "Cortana"
- Whilst the Arbiter and Travis play on Grand Theft Auto IV, Arbiter wanting to do missions and Travis wanting to "pick up prostitutes and go to strip clubs". Travis takes the controller from Arbiter, who asks where Cortana, Todd and Chief are. Cortana and Todd are on a date, and Travis has no idea where Chief is, which is a bad sign. Chief makes desperate plans to break up Todd and Cortana. His first plan involves phoning the police on Jon's mobile. He tells them that a man five inches tall (Todd) has stolen his girlfriend. The police don't believe him, however, and they hang up.
- - Chief's second breakup attempt involves showing Cortana fake evidence of Todd cheating on her. He shows her a very poorly drawn picture of Todd having sex with another girl. Sarcastically, Cortana comments on the authenticity of the picture, but says she can't be sure, since Todd and Chief are both Master Chief figures. Arbiter and Travis are still argueing over the game, which prompts Arbiter to pull a "chief" and attempt to wrestle the controller away from Travis. Chief comes up with one last idea: "KIL T0D".
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[edit] Episode 11: "Conflict (Part 1 of 2)"
After failing 2 of his plots to break up Todd and Cortana, he goes to Arbiter, who is playing Grand Theft Auto IV with friends (and an annoying gangsta wannabe kid with the gamertag "xxxSmok3w33d4lyph420xxx" and real name of Jeremy who eventually gets booted off the 360 by his dad, he and chief know each other and are on each others friends list, shocker), and tells him about how Travis (who had made a fool out of him an hour earlier) and how Todd is "pissign meh off 2". He goes very close to Arbiter and says he is "gon t33ch BOTH thoes asshoelz a les0n tehy wil NEVAR FORG3T". At 3:43 in the morning (refrence to 343 guilty spark), Chief gets a kitchen knife and approaches Todd and Travis. Todd wakes up to see Chief oddly staring at him. Travis wakes up from sleeping with a beer bottle, drunk and totally confused. Todd questions the time and Chief simply replies, "it r tiem 2 dai, tod. tiem 2 dai." (It are time to die Todd. Time to die), Chief then charges at Todd swinging the knife in a violent manor at him, yelling, "MAI ROFLKNIEF GOEZ SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC", as well as going LOL over and over.
A character similar to "xxxSmok3w33d4lyph420xxx" with the name of Jeremy appears in episode 1 of It's a Wonderful Life (presumably the same character) demanding an episode of Arby n the Chief to be uploaded (also being booted off the Xbox for the same reason). The gamertag "xxxSmok3w33d4lyph420xxx" cannot be used in reality as it is too long.
[edit] Episode 12: "Conflict (Part 2 of 2)"
- Picking up right where part one left off, Master Chief closes in on Todd, ready to kill him. Suddenly, Travis tackles and pins Chief to the floor and batters him. Chief fakes a surrender and kicks Travis in the crotch to escape and then goes after Todd again. The two seem evenly matched, until Chief whacks Todd across the kitchen with a frying pan. Just when Chief is about to kill Todd, the Arbiter arrives and tackles him. Cortana shows up as well and Todd informs her of what Chief just attempted to do. During this whole time, Travis is still lying on the ground writhing in pain from being kicked in the crotch by Chief. Arbiter and Cortana then drag Chief away for a talk.
- - Arbiter pins Chief to the wall and demands that he apologize to Todd and Travis for what he did. When he refuses, Cortana kicks him in the crotch, and Chief shouts "Crying face! MAI BALLZ!!!" Cortana repeatedly kicks him until he gives in and agrees to apologize. They take him to Todd and Travis, but Chief doesn't apologize, and instead calls them gay, which gets him dragged away again.
- - Later the same morning, Arbiter is playing Halo 3 online with an annoying player (someone who is terrible at aiming his assault rifle, claims Arbiter can't throw grenades like him and is showing off about throwing grenades into the catapult elevator on the Construct map), until Chief shows up and takes the controller from him. After the two finish a short argument about the Halo 3 Player Model Flaming Helmet (Which is an exclusive armor feature for Bungie employees only. Recon is specially awarded, but the Flaming Helmet is not), Cortana arrives and reveals that Todd and Travis have mysteriously disappeared. The first person she blames is obviously Chief, but he denies having anything to do with it. After exchanging insults with each other, Cortana warns Chief that if he did have something to do with Todd and Travis' disappearance, he would be "VERY, VERY SORRY."
- - When Cortana leaves, Arbiter calmly and directly asks Chief where they are. Chief still claims that it wasn't his fault, so the Arbiter ends the episode asking him: "Well, if not you...then who?"
- - MAI BALLZ and bl00d plz k thx lol
-roflknife
[edit] Season Three
[edit] Episode 13: "Cold"
Jon arranges to meet someone on the phone, presumably a friend of his. He has to negociate a place to meet on foot as he cannot find his wallet, which his driving license is in. After he leaves, Arbiter, Cortana and Chief instantly resume their routine, putting a "Toy Story" feel into the shows. As Arbiter resumes to game, Chief begins browsing Jon's Wallet. Cortana takes it back from him. The following day, Arbiter discovers Chief sat outside begging for change, but failed terribly. When Arbiter asks him why he's trying to get money, Chief tells him he wants to get the Cold Storage map for Halo 3, not aware it is for free (To which Chief is very surprised that Bungie would distribute downloadable content for free).
The next morning, Chief discovers that the Map was deleted off the Hard Drive. Arbiter explains it wasn't him and denies Cortana had any intent of doing so. They start to think that Todd & Travis' disappearence and the deletion of the map are linked.
[edit] Episode 14: "Wedding"
A game of Grifball is in progress and Arbiter and the Chief are playing. Arbiter announces he is getting bored, and Chief has dropped off to sleep. They then meet a pair of gamers, Gregory and Sarah. They announce they are getting married in a match on the Saturday (to Arbiter's surpise and Chief's anger) and ask Arbiter and the Chief if they would attend. Arbiter asks Chief what he thinks (and unplugs the headset in time to stop the other gamers hearing Chief's derogatory response). Chief is against going, but the Arbiter tells them they will come along.
Chief asks why, and the Arbiter says he said yes due to the fact he didn't want to offend them and they were nice people. Chief says he isn't going, but reluctantly does so when Arbiter claims he would feel awkward if Chief didn't. Chief demands 20 dollars to bribe him into going, but idiotically lowers it to 10.
The day comes, and Arbiter and the Chief (carrying a Sniper Rifle and a Spartan Laser) are at the wedding (a chapel made from Forge in Foundry). Chief shows signs of bad behaviour calling the "priest" a homo. He later calls the wedding retarded, while Cortana thinks it's sweet. The other wedding guest (a red-armoured Spartan) keeps insisting they crouch as this is a sacred moment. Arbiter does so, and Chief reluctantly complies. Arbiter then admits he agrees with Chief to an extent, saying that the wedding is pushing it a little in terms of social network communication. The ceremony then starts with the priest playing music through his speakers, to which Arbiter thinks it is pathetic. Sarah then arrives, to which a now impatient Arbiter declares to himself "This is ridiculous". The priest begins the ceremony, and declares that if anyone has any objections to the marriage "or forever be AFK (Away From Keyboard)". Chief, who has finally lost patience, declares his objection, snipes the only member of the audience, then draws his Spartan Laser and shoots the Fusion Coils, blowing up the altar, the Priest, Sarah and Greg. Chief and Arbiter escape the "church", leaving the players behind.
Back on the couch, Arbiter asks "What the hell was that" and Chief responds "One kickass wedding". Arbiter slowly changes his mind; not only does he think it is funny, but he asks "You wanna do that again?" Chief then gives him a high-five, making this probably the very first actual agreement between the two.
'Wedding' is one of the most popular and well-received episodes of Arby 'n' The Chief, especially so because of its ending.
THat Wuz sum funny ASSSHIT
[edit] Episode 15: "Professional"
Master Chief introduces the Arbiter to his so-called friend called Craig, a cocky gamer who claims to be a professional Major League Gamer and his girlfriend Krystal. However when the Arbiter asks him questions that a typical MLG gamer would know, Craig is unable to answer, making Arbiter assume that he's just a MLG-wannabe. When the Arbiter and the Chief leave, Arbiter expresses his dislike for Craig. Still Chief refuses to believe that Craig is a fake. The next day, the Arbiter finds Chief crying. When asked what was wrong, Chief says that Craig and his friends insulted him and called the Arbiter a "cockmongling queefburg3r". This enrages the Arbiter and takes Chief with him to have a "LITTLE chat" with Craig and his friends.
[edit] Episode 16: "Face-Off"
Craig and his "MLG" friends are on Guardian, boasting on how they just registered on some site that supposedly made them pro. Suddenly, another guy shows up, acknowledging their "status", saying it's good to follow one's goals. After he states he lost 20 pounds and is doing well with a girl he met, Craig kicks him out while his friends call the player a little pussy.
Soon after, The Arbiter confronts Craig and his friends on Guardian. After an argument, Craig challenges Master Chief to a 1 vs. 1 Halo match on Blackout. Master Chief, down on confidence, hides in the bathroom, literally slamming the door in Arbiter's face. Arbiter starts to comfort Chief by telling him he's a good player, refers to the "sick montage" they made, and how Bungie gave him Recon because he was so awesome. After Arbiter assures Chief will get all the "bitches", Chief storms out the door, yelling a battlecry, ready to beat Craig.
[edit] Episode 17: "Showdown"
It's almost the time of the match versus Craig, and the Arbiter is giving beer after beer to Chief (who thinks that it will make him play professionally). When the match time arrives, the Arbiter leaves, Craig joins the game and the battle begins. Unknowning to Chief, his controller is turned off, while Arbiter turned his on, making Arbiter play the game instead of Chief. It is not belong before Craig's cheap strategy is revealed - get the sword and the rocket launcher, then camp next to a huge pile of frag grenades and firebombs (which Craig probably put there so he would have a heavily biased map variant). Despite Arbiter's better playing skills, it works. Frustrated Chief, wanting more beer, puts down his controller and sees his player moving by himself and getting killed again. Chief goes where the Arbiter is and sees that he has been playing for him. Chief starts crying, discovering that the Arbiter lied to him. Arbiter apologises and tries to repair Chief's faith in himself, despite his own doubts. Lacking a conflict, Craig starts masturbating, but his parents catch him, causing him to go major AFK due to a big argument. While he begs his parents to leave the room, Chief easily kills Craig and wins the game, saying "MLG? I DISAGREE!!1". The Arbiter tells the sobbing Craig that no one will care about him and insults him before turning off the Xbox.
An unknown period of time later, Master Chief is in Vahalla, and has seemingly earned Craig's girlfriend, Krystal. The kid who got kicked out in the previous episode approaches, as word about Master Chief's victory against an MLG player spreads. The player asks Chief if he has any tips on how to beat other MLG players, but ends up getting sniped by Chief. He then turns to Krystal and says "TITTIES OR GTFO". Revolted, she kills Chief, who laughs as he rolls down the hill.
After the credits, Chief shoots at the camera, telling the viewers that they got BWEWROLLED.
On December 29, 2008, this video has been taken off YouTube due to a copyright claim by Mohammad Pabel Miah.[1] On January 7, 2009, the video was restored.[2]
[edit] Episode 18: "Glitch"
The Arbiter gets his first taste of "N.X.E, the New Xbox Experience", at first mistaking the avatar system for the Nintento Wii "Mii Channel". After sarcastically commenting on the avatar system's appeal towards the "rebellious" and making his avatar into someone he considers a "fucking douche", Master Chief walks in and says he's going to go commit suicide. Arbiter, frustrated over N.X.E.'s confusing navigation system, doesn't respond for several seconds. He follows Chief into the kitchen, where Chief is trying to kill himself in the oven. Luckily, Chief forgot to turn the oven on before crawling in, and Arbiter refuses to do so. When Arbiter asks why Chief is trying to kill himself, Chief claims he can't tell because "it is... TOO SAD :(".
Chief finally comes out and shows Arbiter that his Katana Armor has disappeared due to a glitch, which he claims is ruining "teh liefs of thosunadz of gaemrz" (the lives of thousands of gamers). Arbiter states that the glitch is no big deal, especially since Chief uses Recon Armor in the first place. Chief pins Arbiter the the ground/couch and exclaims "DO U HAZ N E IEDA HWO BIG D33L TIHS R" (Do you have any idea how big of a deal this is?), and decides to show Arbiter why the glitch is a big deal.
(throughout the remainder of the movie, screams are constantly heard in the background)
The scene cuts to a custom map in Halo 3 X-Box Live, where a player in green armor is crouched in a cavern, watched by another player with red armor and a Katana Sword. A player in blue armor walks in and asks how the green player is coping, with the red player responding "Not so good. I think he's starting to lose it." The Arbiter, entering the map through Chief's friends list, walks into the cave, but is halted by the red player, asking if the Arbiter is "alright in the head". Arbiter has no idea what the red player is talking about, and the blue player tells the red player to lower his weapon and let Arbiter in. The blue player explains that a series of intermittent glitches, most likely caused by Gamerscore, are causing player's armor pieces to disappear and certain achievements to become impossible to unlock. Arbiter asks "who cares?", and the blue player states that every player on X-Box Live is rioting over the glitches. Outside, three players walk by the entrance of the cave, one angry about the Spartan Officer achievement not unlocking, and another confused about the disappearance of his Security Shoulder pads. The first player decides to give Bungie "a piece of his mind", but the third player believes the glitches aren't such a big deal. Angered, the first player shoots the third in the head with a pistol.
Arbiter comments on the situation being "retarded", and the blue player explains that every Matchmaking and Custom Game is filled with rioters. He then laments about a friend who lost his Security Shoulders, and committed suicide (in-game) in a Forge Game, where "WHY" was spelled on the ground using guns.
The scene cuts to a rioter who screams "Kill me!" before being shot with a pistol. The shooter then notices he has lost his Katana Armor, and kills himself. Another player is shown crouching, while vomiting is heard through his headset. One player attempts to escape, but is shot down by two Guardians . The scene cuts to a map-wide view, and the screams in the background intensify, joined by the angry shouts and confused cries of rioters. The movie ends with the message "TO BE CONCLUDED".
[edit] Episode 19: "Panic"
Continuing from the previous episode, the scene opens with the Arbiter in the cave with the Red, Blue, and Green players. The Arbiter asks if the cavern is a safe house from the rioters, to which responds "barely!", and refers to the Green player, who has become delusional over loosing his Katana. Arbiter proceeds to try to get the player, whom Chief calls a "Lost soul", to "snap out of it" and accept the fact that his Katana is gone. The player refuses to stop worrying about the glitches, and the Arbiter, taking note of the player's adult-sounding voice, asks how old he is. The player answers "39" before the Arbiter begins insulting the man for "freaking out over a video game glitch" and, believing the man to be the one on Chief's friends list, asking him for his GamerTag. The man responds "assassininja4827", to which the Arbiter again insults him, sarcastically calling him "ass ninja" (Chief confirms that assassininja4827 is in fact the player on his friends list, having sent a clan request to him earlier). Assassininja4827 angrily aims a pistol at the Arbiter, inciting the other two players to run over and demand that he lower his weapon.
The scene changes to two Bungie staff members in a Warthog announcing that the developers are hard at work to fix the issues caused by the glitches. They are promptly attacked by rioters, blown off the road by a thrown grenade. The staff member in the turret seat is killed (in game) instantly, while the driver is pulled out of the car and slaughtered by a rioter who lost his Katana.
Back in the cavern, the Arbiter insults the three players for worrying so much about armor they can't even see while playing the game. Assassininja4827 mentions that the Red player has just been affected by the glitches and lost his Katana sword. Shocked, the Red player changes his aim from assassininja4827 to the Arbiter, hesitantly apologizing for what he is about to do.
Without warning, Master Chief joins and tackles the Red player, exclaiming "FOR GRAET JUSTIS". The Blue player takes advantage of the confusion and tackles assassininja4827. Chief shouts "four sparta" (for sparta) prompting Arbiter who is watching the four wrestle to reply "This is retarded. I'm leaving." As he exits, another player walks into the cavern. He then states he knows how to solve the problems caused by the glitches (unlock all 49 achievements found on the Halo 3 disc), and the fight stops immediately. The new player proceeds to mention this outside, ending every riot instantly.
The Red and Blue players leave to go play a Double-Team match, and assassininja4827 offers to play with the Chief. Chief declines, stating he "GOTS SUM ACHIVMINTS TO ACHIV" (has some achievements to achieve). Back in Jon's apartment, Arbiter walks to the fridge for a beer, while the Chief enters theater mode to post the video of the encounter on his MySpace page.
After the credits, the Arbiter insults viewers he believes are attempting to register "assassininja4827" or "assninja4827" as a GamerTag.
[edit] Episode 20: "Cheater"
The Arbiter walks onto the couch and sees Chief watching something on TV. When the Arbiter asks what Chief is doing, he, finally, admits he is no good at Halo and is trying to improve by watching online strategy guide videos which provide useless and obvious information. After a while, Chief starts playing Halo 3, tells the Arbiter that he still sucks at it. The Arbiter declines Chief's request for teaching and says he has no hope.
Chief sadly walks past a room in Blackout, when he hears a gamer talking to him. The gamer says he has overheard the whole conversation between Chief and the Arbiter, and offers him some help. However, when the mysterious gamer mentions cheats, the Chief declines, only to be interested once more when the gamer nearly leaves.
Arbiter joins a game to find that no one is playing because someone is using a speed hack, which of course is the Chief, holed up in a tower using an aimbot to snipe the players. After the Arbiter can't persuade him to come down, a Bungie moderator suddenly appears out of nowhere, punches Chief, and knocks him off the tower. The enforcer whips out his "Banhammer" (portrayed here as a Gravity Hammer), jumps off the tower, and yells at Chief, asking if he thought his cheating spree was going to last. Though that the Arbiter is aware that it is out of the question to ask Chief to be spared, the Arbiter pursuades the moderator to give Chief a punishment that won't affect the Arbiter since they share the same account. So, instead of getting banned, Chief's Recon Armor is confescated.
Chief declares his newfound hatred for Bungie, and the Arbiter says he deserved the punishment. After an argument with the Arbiter, Chief, with nothing to do, puts back on the same online strategy video he watched at the beginning of the episode (which, this time, has a lame joke of a Flood Carrier Form), much to Arbiter's dismay.
[edit] Episode 21: "Company (Part 1 of 2)"
The Arbiter is sitting on the couch, watching a really stupid Machinima: The Adventures of Frank and Joe Episode 1, which features 3 stupid kids, one a red Spartan, one a blue Spartan, and one an Elite. The Arbiter becomes incredibly bored and disgusted by the video. He even proceeds to cutting himself when the alien (the Elite) says, "I am a alien and I will kill you with my guns cause I hate humans cause I am a alien." Then Master Chief comes out with the "greatest idea ever," which the Arbiter is skeptical of because Chief's last great idea was trading Dark Knight tickets for Space Chimp tickets. But the Arbiter listens to Chief's idea anyways- making a Machinima company. At first, the Arbiter is doubtful, but since he has nothing better to do, he goes along.
At their "first meeting," the Arbiter and Chief sit around a white board with "Ideas" written on it and nothing else. Arbiter, who is holding the white board marker, comments on Chief's retarded tie, to which Chief responds is necessary because he is the president of a company now and needs to look like a businessman. The Arbiter says that they are the only ones there and that it isn't even a real company, and Chief says that the Arbiter should come up with more ideas like him. The Arbiter says that the only "idea" that Chief has contributed is an image of a very large penis. Chief responds saying that he does all of the paperwork, etc. which Arbiter says is nonexistant and nonsense. After a long pause, Chief says coming up with ideas make him sad. Another long pause, and then Chief suggests that they make a sequel to a movie that has already been made.
His script, entitled "Shawshank Redemption 2: Taking Back New York," which takes him seven weeks to make, is "a complete disgrace to the original film," according to the Arbiter. It also has about five thousand parts, and Chief has only found 3 "professional actors-" one who drops out because it sounds dumb after Chief attempts to inspire them (by saying they don't need to get paid and that they should just try to make his dreams come true) and the other two who are little kids who worry about missing school during filming. The "actors" also want to get paid. At first, Chief assumes that the kids' fame from the movie will suffice as pay. After that doesn't work, he guesses that they want to get paid with "Hot Wheels and french fries," but the Arbiter tells him that they want to get paid money. Chief then says that he is broke and needs to raid John's wallet to get money to pay them. The Arbiter doubts Chiefs self-proclaimed "genius."
[edit] Episode 22: "Party"
This Episode takes advantage of YouTube's annotations system to offer a different style of storytelling with flashbacks. Four times a thought balloon appears, which can be clicked on to link to the flashback video.
The Arbiter wakes up one morning with a hangover, roughly 30 hours after the Mythic Map Pack was released. He has no recollection of what happen the previous night, and begins wandering the house trying to remember what happened (he has some trouble with this because of his hangover from heavy drinking the previous night).
In the first flashback, the Arbiter, trying to download the Mythic Map Pack, is approached by the Chief, who wants to throw a party to celebrate the map pack's release. Even though the Arbiter doesn't drink, he is convinced by Chief to "live a little".
In the second flashback, the two (now wasted drunk) find the internet "as slow as a turtle dead from turtle cancer", so they decide to make a "super internet cable" in order to "let the internet fit through it better". They then take several internet modem cables, cut off one end of each, tape the exposed wires, and solder the result using a toaster while drinking whiskey. Surprisingly, the cable works.
When they find out that the internet hasn't sped up a bit, they decide to supercharge the modem: "double teh power r double teh internetz". They then attach the modem to a group of batteries, which is plugged into a socket, with copper wires (at this point, the modem is plugged into two sockets). Amazingly, it works, as shown in the third flashback. The two decide to harass a kid who is trying to find the Sandbox skull by killing him over and over again with a killball. Arbiter comments on his "buzz" wearing off, and the Chief comes up with an idea...
Outside of flashbacks, the Arbiter realizes that Chief is missing, then flashes back the fourth time to what happened to Chief: he decided to smoke cereal to get high (and somehow does, possibly due to the placebo effect), and then wants to go swimming. The power goes off from the batteries they plugged into the outlet to supercharge the modem, and the Chief thinks the house exploded. The Arbiter, meanwhile, has passed out on the couch.
Back in the present, the Arbiter goes to the bathroom to find Chief swimming.. in the toilet with a gigantic turd.
[edit] Episode 23: "Company (Part 2 of 2)"
The episode begins with Arbiter going to meet Chief in his "office". The Arbiter looks at a door sign reading "DO NOT DISTREB" and knocks the door, asking Chief to let him in. Chief refuses, but Arbiter enters anyway. He asks Chief to help him making the video they started in previous part of the episode, but Chief responds that he has a lot of paperwork to do. Arbiter points out that the papers are blank and pulls him out of the room. Chief yells at Arbiter that his "COVERNINT BUTOCKS R SO FIERD".
Later, Arbiter is seen holding a gamepad on the sofa, when Jon's phone rings. Arbiter gets up and answers it: the caller is Chief. Arbiter points out the absurdity of calling from another room, but Chief ignores it and faxes a non-disclosure agreement he wants Arbiter to sign. The Arbiter protests and says that he thought that their friendship is strong enough that they don't have to establish trust with legal documents. "The Boss" answers that Arbiter is wrong and sends another document to him, stating the Arbiter must sign both documents or face "federal charges".
The Arbiter goes to Master Chief's office and returns the documents to him, as well as resiging from the company. The Arbiter expresses his disappointment that what ought to be an amusing pastime got "buried under a mountain of legal jargon, as well as your own ego and desire of power." The Arbiter then insults Chief, making an obscene gesture and leaves the room.
Master Chief goes on a meeting with his "professional actors" only to see that they are quitting too. They tell him that they read the script for the movie, found it retarded and that the Arbiter told them how a "massive egotistical cumshot" Chief is. After that, they leave chuckling. "The Boss" gets angry, realizing that the Arbiter violated the NDA.
Chief looks at the documents and sees that Arbiter's "signatures" are actually the words "FUCK" and "YOU".
This episode was very ill-received by most viewers, due to having to wait weeks "just for THIS" and borderline laziness on DigitalPh33r's part (especially not seeing any of the Chief's actual production). Not to mention tensions between the two main characters becoming even worse and more heated than before.
[edit] Episode 24: "Evil"
The Arbiter and, suprisingly, Master Chief are playing Resident Evil 5, which has been recently released at that time. Chief starts making fire jokes because of a monster that they apparently must use a flamethrower on, and Arbiter refers to some Resident Evil 5 reviews by Josh Butterballs, repeatedly saying that the game is enjoyable but not scary.
Later, The Arbiter finds two people protesting Resident Evil 5, on Halo 3, saying it is racist and insensitive. After being surprised that Chief joined the protest for no apparent reason, the Arbiter is proven wrong in the argument when one of the protesters mentions the situations in Africa. While this is going on, Chief "Falcon Punches" a box's lid off, saying it was Chris Redfield's penis.
The next day, Chief finds the Arbiter upset about the whole thing because he doesn't want to be insensitive, and thinking about it rather than playing Resident Evil 5 with him. Shortly he apologizes to the protesters and makes a point that it may seem to be racist but it was not the intentions of the creators. Chief and the Arbiter start playing Resident Evil 5 again, but upon making another Wesker quote, Chief gets beat up by Arbiter.
[edit] Episode 25: "King"
The Arbiter and the Chief are playing Halo 3 Matchmaking, and are about to enter a ridiculous game of Rockets on Snowbound. Chief likes the idea (even though he hates Snowbound), but the Arbiter hates it, and vetoes it and presses the veto button on Chief's controller as well, drawing an insult from him. The vetoes successfully make the match go to a game which Arbiter hates even more - King of the Hill on Guardian.
When the game starts, Chief goes to the top of the tower, intending to throw grenades from there despite the fact that no points are gained. But when he gets there, he sees prepubescent and crazy versions of him who are complete fanboys of Arby 'n' the Chief.
The other players are revealed - GyneCOOLogist (a hotheaded DarkSpire fan), Butt Beard (an aspiring romance writer), Colbert Fan (a completely modest, level-headed individual), and FEELS GOOD MAN (a member of "Anononymous" who hates alot of stuff, including machinima and Halo 3).
But just as the players gather, the game breaks down and the screen turns into a shade of red. No one dares to leave fearing the loss of EXP points (except FEELS GOOD MAN, who is here for the lulz).
The Jon CJG fanboys arrive, meeting the Arbiter and mentioning the show they are huge fans of, leading FEELS GOOD MAN to call the producer "DigitalQueer". The players soon get into an argument about who is the better machinima director - RoosterTeeth, Darkspire Films or Jon CJG, leading them to "claiming" a portion of a level to themselves.
While the Arbiter seeks out to convince the players to stop this feud, the CJG fanboys seek signatures for their petition, trying to get Jon to change his name back to DigitalPh33r. The fanboys fail and eventually interview Chief, making him say popular quotes from the series and asking him stupid questions about Jon.
After a failed attempt at talking some sense into the overly apathetic FEELS GOOD MAN, the Arbiter eventually convinces everyone that every machinima director has competition (while FEELS GOOD MAN records the entire thing, calling it hilariously gay). Moments later, the game is fixed and it leads to a shootout. The Arbiter seemingly wins the shootout, but then Chief melees him, repeatedly saying that he is the best.
At the end it is revealed in this episode that Todd (revealed to be Colbert Fan), Travis (revealed to be GyneCOOLogist), and Cortana were abducted by aliens sometime after episode 12; the deletion of Cold Storage was Travis's attempt to send a message to Arbiter and the Chief. Shortly after the events of the episode, it is explained that Todd and Travis were anally raped and eaten by "a big gay outer space alien that looked suspiciously like Jon's chin", while Cortana was shot into an alien sun because the alien was gay (this is also thought to be her punishment for being the worst character in the series). This was a deliberately shoddy way of filling in the plothole caused by the disappearance of these characters, with the segment being a satirical jab at the fans who kept pestering DigitalPh33r for an answer as to what happened to the characters.
[edit] Arby 'n' the Chief: The Movie
On May 25th, 2008, Arby 'n' the Chief: The Movie, premiered at the machinima event CanWest 08 (To which the Movie was created for) and was published on YouTube the same day.
It seems to take place in between the plot line of Episode 10 and 11, and features all of the characters of the series, and it's first time any character has ventured out of Jon's apartment.
[edit] Series Finale: "Endgame"
On the 17th of June 2009, Jon told his viewers via his official blog that he will be making a series finale to end Arby 'n' the Chief. No one knows why, but it could be the possibility that it will be replaced by a new series called "One Life Remaining".
The series finale has 6 parts that each are around 6-11 minutes. Jon has also released a version with all six parts. The full version is 40 minutes.
[edit] Part One
The story begins with the Arbiter and Master Chief playing multiplayer Call of Duty 4 on Wet Work. As usual, Chief releases a barrage of insults and complaints about the game, mostly about the killcam and weapons, but he does not quit and even asks when Modern Warfare 2 will be released.
The scene cuts to a chase between a Russian KGB soldier and an afro-wearing criminal in a forest with the opening credits rolling. After tripping over some debris the criminal is caught by the Russian soldier, who recites the arrest charges: the criminal, named Scott, is an online video game hacker and has been dealing cocaine for 16 years in Canada and Russia. Scott is asked if he accepts the punishment of 34 consecutive death sentences, to which he replies no. The soldier then proceeds to aim a gun towards the dealer, and saying that Mother Russia will make him. Scott, in an attempt to get away, asks the Russian if he wants a cigarette, to which he insults America for making horrible cigarettes. Scott then presents the Russian agent a deal, promising a large amount of cocaine if he leaves. The loyal soldier declines yet again, and Scott responds by throwing cocaine into the Russian's face as a "free sample" to blind him. Scott is able to get away and the Russian screams in rage.
The scene jumps to one month later in Jon's apartment, where Master Chief is playing "Mile High Club" with the Arbiter watching. When he reaches a terrorist using a hostage as a shield he tells the Arbiter to watch him shoot the terrorist, and then Chief, as expected, misses. The Arbiter then insults him and says that the level is easy. Chief then says that the difficulty makes it harder, but then Arbiter reminds him he that he is playing on Recruit (the easiest difficulty). Surprisingly, Chief nails the terrorist on the second try, and heads into the final room. Chief takes aim at a person on the ground and Arbiter says that the person is a hostage. Then, once again showing his absolute stupidity, Chief says the hostage is an enemy and, with the Arbiter watching, shoots him in the face, resulting in the "Friendly Fire" screen appearing. Master Chief angrily declares that they play Halo.
[edit] Part Two
While playing Halo, Master Chief gets into an argument with another player who calls him by his screen name, Jon CJG. Chief complains that he can barely hear the game over a loud blaring music which Arbiter says is coming from Scott's room. Chief asks who Scott is, and The Arbiter, mentioning that Scott has lived in the apartment for a month, explains that Jon's falling behind on his rent, forcing him to rent a room at the cost of half the rent. The door opens, and Chief starts to panic, telling the Arbiter to hide. Fortunately Scott is convinced that the two action figures are hallucinations from him constant drug abuse.
Scott enters the room with his pants down and clumsily makes his way to the kitchen, where he snorts cocaine and makes a cocaine sandwich as the Arbiter badmouths him. Scott walks away, threatening to beat the Arbiter and Chief up if they call the police.
As the argument between Master Chief and another player continues, The Arbiter tells them to settle down. Unexpectedly he says the exact same words simultaneously with a girl player. The Arbiter stares at her before Chief claims that the Arbiter "aspl0ded", which meant that his helmet is loose and it soon falls off. After the Arbiter puts his helmet back on, Chief tells him that his visor "aspl0ded" as well, and that nothing lasts forever.
The Arbiter, depressed, goes to talk to the girl player, asking her name (Claire). Though Chief has sexually harassed every girl he's seen, he yells at the Arbiter for hitting on a girl in Halo 3. When the Arbiter is asked his name, he, knowing that saying "The Arbiter" will make her believe he's a Halo freak, introduces himself as "Jon", making Chief yell at him for lying.
[edit] Part Three
The episode begins by showing a lone sniper in a seemingly empty Sandtrap. A second player arrives and starts talking to the sniper, but he is urged by the sniper not to break radio silence and give away their position. As a player runs through, firing his gun and shouting, a newbie approaches saying that he is a first timer and looking for people to party up with. The two others say no and the newbie runs off. Suddenly, a mysterious player appears. The sniper shoots him several times with no effect, and the player lags him out with his spartan laser. The player does this until everybody is lagged out, exclaiming he can get all the points and jumps off.
The scene jumps to Jon's apartment showing the Arbiter is chatting on MSN with Claire. The Arbiter is confused about Claire's message, "Sooooo......", wondering whether she wants their relationship to go further, or just stop where it is. He begins typing a message that states they should play together more often and eventually meet in real life, but hesitates in sending it. Master Chief suddenly comes in, causing the Arbiter to accidentally send the message. Chief asks how he can get his Recon Armor back. The Arbiter sarcastically responds that he could fake an illness, and even suggests that if Chief really wants to stand out from the crowd he should do some thing out of the ordinary (like brain cancer). The Chief thanks the Arbiter and leave, happily exclaiming that he is his best friend. The Arbiter replies that he is his ONLY friend and that "friend" is probably to strong of a word. He goes back to the computer screen and sees that Claire has responded to the message, approving of his previous message.
[edit] Part Four
Taking Arbiter's advice from the last part, Chief is shown about to cut his foot off with a knife, but he is actually making himself a peanut butter sandwich. After he eats the sandwich, he cuts his foot off.
Chief is later seen crying in pain in the bathroom while the Arbiter puts a small pile of napkin on the stump of his foot. The Arbiter angrily says that he wasn't seriously about the advice and that if Chief was to get his Recon back, he has to do something amazing. The conversation is interrupted by the noise Scott is making in the other room. The Arbiter says that Scott masturbates and smokes cigarettes at the same time, and he and the Chief go into his room.
Scott is shown typing on the computer, exclaiming how much he loves hacking Halo 3. Soon, he feels the need for some "fucking pussy" and he decides to use Jon's credit card to hire 200 hookers. The Chief is angered by this and nearly calls the police. Upon the Arbiter's denial, the Chief then plans to kill Scott and sell the organs to the Chinese. This is which was what the Arbiter was thinking as well, but he insists that they wait.
The Arbiter is then shown ingame with Claire, apparently in an online date in an empty Last Resort (with Chief trying to get the Arbiter to wear a condom). Claire stops to admire the scenery, saying that the water effects are soothing. The Arbiter admits that this was not what he thought when he mentioned that he wanted to play more with Claire, and accidently says "This sucks so hard" into the microphone, but he falsifies it and the date goes on. Claire soon mentions that a hacker has been ruining games for Halo 3 players for two weeks, and the Arbiter realizes that hacker is Scott. He tells Claire that his roommate IS the hacker, unintentionally revealing that he is not Jon, but he is owned by Jon. Claire furiously breaks up with him, and the Arbiter slowly leaves the couch.
[edit] Part Five
Starting off with a flash back of the Arbiter and his date with Claire over Halo 3, the Arbiter is seen sitting on a corner with his helmet off. He states that he had a "good run" and it won't be long before he will be at the bottom of toy box. Suddenly, a filled condom drops down right beside him, spilling its contents on the table. The Arbiter quickly jumps back and turns around to see that the one who dropped the condom is revealed to be Chief, who says that it was only filled with shampoo on an attempt to cheer the Arbiter up.
The Chief then suggests that they should get rid of Scott despite what will happen if anything happens to Scott. He goes into a motivational speech, saying that they're "breakign like shity mega bloks spin0ffs", asking if the Arbiter really wants to spend his last moments here until his limbs or dick falls off, stating his preferring of going out "w/ a big bangz"(refrence to Sergent Johnson's last quote), and declaring that they "FUCK UP SCOTTS SHIT", "SAEV SEXBOCKZ LIVE", and "HAV SEXY TIEMS W/ CLAIRE". At first the Arbiter declines, saying that Claire's his girl, but when he mentions fucking up Scott's shit and saving Halo, the two action figures agree and high five, not before Chief throws the filled condom at him.
The scene jumps into a long, empty hallway made in Sandbox, with Claire slowly going through it. Suddenly, she sees the mysterious hacker Scott, and runs off to the roof only to find that it is impossible to jump. Scott soon catches up with Claire. After a short exchange of words regarding points and the power of the Spartan Laser, Claire is lagged out.
Outside the game, Scott is fumbling with his controller, calling Claire a stupid bitch. Scott suddenly hears Chief's voice and turns to see the Arbiter and the Chief with a cell phone. Scott exclaims that they weren't supposed to be in his room until after his fourth "coke sandwich". The Arbiter confirms that they are not hallucinations (cocaine probably causes hallucinations. I don't know,), and Chief confirms the reality of the phone, saying that it not orders pizza, but police as well. It is revealed that the two called the police an hour ago, and Chief validates this by calling in Agent Smirnoff. After a pseudo-dramatic close up of the faces of Scott and Smirnoff, the agent pulls out his gun, but Scott grabs his keyboard nearby and smashs him with it. Scott then grabs his bag of cocaine and goes into another room to get his gun. When he aims it at Smirnoff, a gunshot is heard. It is soon revealed that Smirnoff shot Scott in the chest, and then Smirnoff fires multiple shots at Scott. As the Arbiter and Chief express their impatience, Scott dies a slow, exaggerated death and even sniffs some cocaine before his death.
[edit] Part Six
The grand finale of Arby 'n' the Chief starts with showing Scott's dead body, apparently left untouched over to the next day, where the Arbiter and the Chief thank Agent Smirnoff and let him have some Triscuits. Smirnoff threatens the two, saying if they fuck with Mother Russia, they'll have to fuck with him. The agent angrily takes the whole bag of Triscuits, making Chief call him a butthole as he exits the door. The Arbiter and Chief are left, wondering why the police hasn't taken Scott's body.
Chief and the Arbiter later sit near a river in Vahalla, while two "professional snipers" are sniping at a nearby boulder and demand them to join. Arbiter declines, calling them losers. The two action figures talk about their fate wondering whether if they'll be sold to an 8 year old "MLG" player who either has Batman dolls or, which even Arbiter admits is a comforting thought, Barbies. Claire approaches the Arbiter, yelling at him for lying, but thanking him for saving XBOX Live (having heard everything on the microphone). She wonders why they are action figures, and asks their height. Arbiter says he's a foot tall, but Chief only says that he's a foot, leaving out the word "tall" and therefore saying that he has a small dick. The Arbiter tells Claire his fate of either being sold or being put in a box forever, but there is new hope when she invites the him and Chief to live in her place in California.
Chief sadly leaves to go to a different area of Vahalla, not because of his faux pas, but because he didn't get his Recon back. This issue is resolved when a sheepish Bungie representative comes in a Warthog, thanks Chief for stopping the unbannable hacker, and gives Chief the armor back, immediately making Chief wear his beloved permutation. The Bungie staff member leaves, crashing into a tree and angrily expressing his opinion of not putting the tree there in the first place.
Suddenly, an orange armor player runs through Vahalla, randomly shooting his gun. Noticing that player has Recon, Chief demands to know the reason why he got Recon. The player answers that completing all the Vidmaster Achievements got him Recon, thus making the difficulty of unlocking Recon much easier. Chief declares his hate for Bungie once more.
One week later, the Arbiter and the Chief are inside a box, ready to go to California. As the credits roll, they decide to talk about "stuff", such as YTV, video games, Pokémon, racism, hockey, swine flu, Twitter, and even obesity.
Though the two action figures are likely headed toward a happy ending, their original owner Jon may have inevitably failed to pay the rent.
[edit] Arby 'n' the Chief In LA
Machinima.com recently released a teaser trailer of a new show called, "Arby 'n' the Chief In LA". The teaser depicts the Arbiter and the Master Chief talking about LA.
Jon CJG, the developer of the orginal Arby 'n' the Chief, stated on his blog that this new series is NOT being developed by him, and that Machinima.com decided to take the franchise into their own hands.You can view his blog post here.
[edit] Main Characters
[edit] Master Chief
- voiced by Microsoft Sam
Master Chief, also referred to simply as "Chief", is the main character of the series, having reprised his role from Master Chief Sucks at Halo, albeit with minor changes from his last appearance. He is a a Halo 2 Master Cheif action figure that is voiced by the Text to Speech Program "Microsoft Sam", and hand puppeted to create his movements. Master Chief's character is generally shown as being the embodiment of the negative stereotypes of the typical moronic players that one might encounter whilst gaming online. As such Master Chief is portrayed as someone with incredibly poor intelligence, who speaks in excessive leet (with poorly spelt subtitles to match), who commonly engages in annoying behaviour when gaming online, such as team-killing, "teabagging", weapon spamming, cheating, trolling, acting childish, following Internet fads, using illegal game mods (hacks), badmouthing other players, acting needlessly violent, lacking gaming skills, and generally acting in a manner that many Internet users and gamers describe as a complete n00b.
He is described by Cortana as "A sexist, mentally defective homophobe whose daily activities consist of going on to lolcats.com and watching porn". This is an accurate statement, as he has displayed an extremely offensive attitude towards her and often calls everyone but her a faggot and many other unprovoked insults.
The Chief also seems to be a Microsoft and Halo "fanboy". He loves playing Halo 3 Multiplayer more than anything, and hates almost, if not precisely every other video game or console, particularly if they compete with Halo's popularity. He always is convinced that if Arbiter disagrees with his own opinion on Halo content, if he is displeased with any Halo content, or playes games other than Halo, that then Arbiter must hate Halo's content, the Halo series, and Bungie Studios itself. Furthermore, he is only seen browsing the web through Internet Explorer, to the extent of actively deleting a shortcut of Mozilla Firefox, another web browsing program. (However, it being only a shortcut, it may be argued that while he did not fully delete the program, it may be because he was unaware that it was only a shortcut, thus proving his low intelligence.) He is also seen bashing the Nintendo Wii and virtually all games that are not related to the Halo series (such as Grand Theft Auto 4, and Call of Duty 4), mostly for no real reason other than they are popular, unlike the Arbiter who likes all sorts of games. However, after Bungie confiscated his Recon Armour for cheating, he declares he hates Bungie.
He prefers to fix problems such as that with violence, both in game by unashamedly killing other players he disagrees with, be they on his own team or not, and in the real world, often attempting to attack his roomates, even to the extent of using weapons such as knives and frying pans.
He is also apparently a fad-fan as he often quotes Internet memes in his dialogue. Fads such as Shoop Da Whoop, lolcats, roflcopter, Doom: Repercussions of Evil, and quotes from the Zero Wing game are often referenced by him and add humor to his antics. He almost always carries a sniper rifle and his 'Lazer' with him when in-game, even into places where guns would otherwise be prohibited. He displays a complete lack of regard for Prestige, believing them to be "a l0@d 0f Cr@yp"(A load of crap) and busting anyone who disagrees with him. He has a preference to always use childish insults and lingo when arguing, such as "Mom Jokes", "Male Genital Jokes", "Sexist Jokes", or even just simply responding "no u" as his only forms of retort. As such, forming any coherent conversation with him is exceedingly difficult. He also has a horrible taste of friends as all of his friends mentioned are either n00bs like him, wannabes, or jerks who double-cross him and make fun of his lack of intelligence.
However, the Chief has some good attributes. He can be very creative with a large amount of intelligence and sense, though this is not easy to see because it is one of his attributes that he often ignores. The Chief can be often be very creative when he puts his mind to something, and seems to have a certain degree of intelligence, which have been noted at some moments such as the times when he created plans to achieve his goals, such as obtaining the "Recon Armor" (which The Arbiter qualified as a good and very complex plan, although the things and people he required were "out of reach") or the time he tried to break up Todd and Cortana. He also has positively no patience for stupid, boring or blatantly idiotic things, displayed in season 3 episode 2, where he grows weary of the moronic antics of the three people involved in the "wedding" and the priest. He also is very emotional, as he can be extremely sensitive. He was brought into a very emotional state when Craig and his friends made fun of him during a match.
Until episode 20, Chief thinks that he is a highly skilled Halo 3 player and is very clever (this is proven when he says to the Arbiter "cuz UR brain r liek this {Cause your brain are like this}" and made a small hand gesture, "adn mai brein r liek this {And my brain are like this}" and made a huge arm gesture), even though it is always proven to be far from the truth. One thing that has been contributing to Chief's terrible Halo 3 skills is his unawareness of what he is doing, proven in episode 17, when he had no idea that the Arbiter was playing for him. The theory that Chief may be unaware of his doings is out of the question, proven in episode 4. It is also because of the beer Chief drank.
[edit] The Arbiter
- voiced by Microsoft Mike
The Arbiter, also referred to simply as "Arby", is a Halo 2 Arbiter action figure that is voiced by the Text to Speech Program "Microsoft Mike", and hand puppeted to create his movements. The Arbiter is the complete opposite of the Chief. He is intelligent, calm, ethical, well spoken (with correctly spelt subtitles to match), polite, honest, and unlike Chief, he demonstrates great gaming skills. Arbiter basically shares the personality and other qualities of Jon Graham himself (except the quality of being a massive prick). He and Chief have somewhat of a love and hate friendship and the two are nearly always in arguments, or Arbiter is victimised by Chief's irrational behavior.
The Arbiter often tries, sometimes unsuccessfully, to bring common sense to Chief's and other gamers' minds, such as when he tries to calm down people panicking over a game glitch, or when he breaks up a fight between Chief and Todd. In episode 25, another player characterizes him as "a natural mediator. I look at this conflict and see entertainment. You see it as something that needs to be resolved".
Arbiter usually acts nice to other people and tries not to hurt their feelings. However, he is known to talk smack quite often when disgruntled by the Chief, and he does ridicule behavior he finds bad or stupid right away. Arbiter disapproves of prejudice and other bad behavior, and is particularly offended by ignorance and idiocy, demonstrated in episode 14, when he commented on a Halo 3 wedding: "I'm all for people meeting on online social networks... but I think all of this is KIND OF pushing it".
Very much unlike the Chief, he demonstrates incredible gaming skills, and is a lot more appealed by other popular video games besides Halo 3 such as Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, Devil May Cry 4, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and Grand Theft Auto 4. Unlike Chief, the Arbiter does not blindly love games he plays and acknowledges their shortcomings. For example, his enjoyment of Halo doesn't stop him from expressing dislike for the Heroic Map Pack, saying it was not worth $10. Arbiter has tried to introduce Chief to the games he plays, like in Episode 5, he let Chief try out Call of Duty 4 after Chief was getting bad performance on Halo 3, but he quit very shortly after starting.
There is a sign that he and Chief are starting to get on better (though they will never probably cease arguing) as Arbiter admits Chief's trashing a Halo 3 wedding "funny" and the two are seen high-fiving afterwards. Also, after he and Chief are insulted by MLG wannabe Craig, he decides to teach Craig a lesson and meets him on Guardian, telling him even if Chief is stupid, he had been treating Craig nicely and it was no reason to insult Chief.
The Arbiter appeared twice, albeit off-camera, in the "Master Chief Sucks at Halo" series. Once in episode 2, where he is chatting on MSN with Chief, and once in episode 3, where he serves as Chief's camera-man for the montage. In these episodes, Arbiter is portrayed as having similar intelligence and behaviour to Master Chief. When asked by fans what prompted Arbiters change in character, Jon Graham simply responded, "Just roll with it".
[edit] Recurring Characters
- -
[edit] Cortana
- voiced by Microsoft Mary
Cortana arrived in episode 7. Until after the movie, she has not had as much screentime as The Chief and The Arbiter. She seems to be more of the Female version of the Arbiter except for the fact she has more of a Feminine personality, and a little more violent. She has never had good relations with the Chief. Despite Chief's love for her, their arguments get more and more hate filled and violent as time goes on. Despite her description as a female gamer, she has never been seen playing. She is the subject of sexist jokes (for example being told to go make sandwiches).
She fell in love with Todd after she first met him, which really angered Chief.
The only thing she ever seems to do is whine about the Chief, hence her reputation as the worst and most useless character in the series.
Starting at episode 15, "Professional", she disappeared.
It was later revealed that she was abducted by an alien along with Todd and Travis, while Todd and Travis had their "butts made love to", due to the alien being gay, Cortana was thrown into the nearest alien sun. Another possible reason the alien killed her off that way was because she was the worst and most useless character in the series. (The entire scene was a deliberately shoddy attempt on DigitalPh33r's part to explain their disappearance).
[edit] Todd
-
- voiced by Jon Graham/DigitalPh33r
- Todd is a Master Chief figure from the Halo 3 McFarlane Action Figure Series. He and his friend Travis's voices aren't used by a text to speech tool like the other three characters, as they are of the Halo 3 McFarlane series (which Todd is named after), that have new and improved voice boxes. Upon his arrival, he got along with the Arbiter very well, and fell in love with Cortana at first sight, as she did with him.
He is very much like the Arbiter, but prefers to read (mostly with Cortana), and doesn't seem to use foul language at all (only mildly cursing when fighting for his life when Chief tried to kill him).
Chief thinks of him as a "gigantec pusy (gigantic pussy)", which, surprisingly, is true, such as in the Movie, when Chief pulled a not-too-scary prank, Todd ran away, screaming effeminately at the top of his lungs. He is somewhat smaller than the Chief. Chief attempted to kill him and Travis in Episode 12. Also, Todd appears to be easily fooled, as shown in Episode 12 when, while trying to kill him, Chief tricked him into turning around, saying "HOLEH MOTHR OF GOD L@@K OTU ITS TEH COVERNINT (Holy Mother of God! Look out! It's the Covenant!)" while pointing behind Todd. Todd turns around, opening an opportunity for Chief to smash him off with a frying pan, then grabbing the "ROFLKNIEF".
He and Travis both disappeared in Episode 12.
Later, it is revealed that he, Travis and Cortana were abducted months ago by an alien called Xanthor, who then "anally raped them and then eated them alive, while he throwed Cortana into a nearby sun". (The entire scene was a deliberately shoddy attempt on DigitalPh33r's part to explain their disappearance).
[edit] Travis
- voiced by Jon Graham/DigitalPh33r
Travis is a Brute Chieftain figure from the McFarlane action figure series. Travis appeared along with Todd in episode 9. He and his friend Todd's voices aren't done by text to speech tools like the other three characters, due to their new and improved voice boxes.
Travis got along well with Chief when they first met. During the movie, they didn't get along. In fact, Travis hated Chief as much as Cortana and Todd did. In episode 11, Travis played a joke on Chief which ended up with him getting smacked into a wall mirror by Cortana and humiliated, filling Chief with murderous rage as he watched Travis laugh hysterically (and later became the reason for Chief's attempt to murder him).
Travis is not as much like the Chief as previously thought by fans. Travis is highly aggressive, but unlike the Chief, he has normal conversations with Todd, Cortana and Arbiter without throwing insults, penis jokes, or mom jokes at them, like Chief mostly does.
Travis loves to play Xbox 360 games, particularly Halo 3, but doesn't perform as badly as Chief. However, when he does make mistakes, or the game's difficulty or other players get to him, he gets easily angered and curses at the television or down the Xbox Live Headset. He also drinks on a frequent basis, favoring Jon's bottles of Jack Daniels. But, he does not use foul-language and the term "gay" as much as the Chief does.
He and Todd both disappeared in episode 12. It is later revealed that he, Todd and Cortana were abducted months ago by an alien called Xanthor, who then anally raped them and ate them alive, while he threw Cortana into a nearby sun. It is also revealed that Travis was the one who deleted Cold Storage from Jon's Xbox in an attempt to contact Arbiter and Chief (In retrospect, he noted that it probably didn't work). (The entire scene was a deliberately shoddy attempt on DigitalPh33r's part to explain their disappearance).
[edit] Scott
- Played by Jon Graham
Scott is one of the few non-action figure characters in the series. He only appears in the series finale "Endgame". He is played by series creator Jon Graham
Scott is a criminal wanted for dealing cocaine in Russia and Canada and has 37 consecutive death sentences. He first appears running from a Russian agent in part one of "Endgame". After escaping from the agent by throwing cocaine into his face Scott moves in with Jon so Jon can pay his rent. Scott spends most of his time masturbating, eating cocaine sandwiches and victimizing members of Xbox LIVE through means of hacking. He is under the belief that The Arbiter and Master Chief are drug-induced hallucinations.
When Chief and Arbiter discover that Scott is the online hacker terrorizing Xbox LIVE they contact the Russian Agent Smirnoff to arrest him. When Scott resists, Smirnoff shoots him, Scott, still clinging to life after being shot repeatedly take one last snort of cocaine before choking on his own blood and dying in a pool of it.
[edit] Quotes
- Halo player: Wh... What are you?
- Chief: i r guy who gon t33ch u less0n
- Chief: who the fuck r u
- Arbiter: My name is The Arbiter. Mother fucker.
- Chief: wat if bungie dun giv it 2 meh
- Arbiter: There there, Master Chief. There there.
- [pause]
- Arbiter: Can I play Call of Duty 4 now?
- Chief: fuck u
- Arbiter: Chief, have you seen the Call of Duty 4 case?
- [pause]
- Chief: no [continues flushing] coem on! flush bitch
- Arbiter: Chief... are you masturbating?
- Chief: wtf? no
- Arbiter: Then what the hell are you doing in there?
- [pause]
- Chief: ummmmmmmmmmm [pause] acshually i am jacking off. go away
- Arbiter: You suck big throbbing COCK at Halo 3 ANYWAY! Why the fuck are you even concerned about your rank or your kill/death ratio? It's probably like, one to twenty anyway!
- Arbiter: Jon's hard drive isn't even that big.
- Chief: dun wory. i hav... TWO FLOPY DISKZ
- Arbiter: I think you will need a few more than that.
- Chief: hugz?
- [pause]
- Arbiter: You want a hug?
- Chief: ya
- Arbiter: You want a hug... from me?
- Chief: ya
- [pause]
- Chief: wher is teh luv. teh loev. the luv.
- Arbiter: It's called Super Smash Brothers Brawl. And it's amazing. So shut up.
- Chief: ur mom waz amasign l4st nite
- Arbiter: Another mom joke? You just did one a minute ago!
- Chief: me adn ur mom did 1t a minit ag0
- Guy: [to the Arbiter] What are you doing this Saturday?
- Chief: [away] UR MOM
- Arbiter: Easy on the grifball, Greg. Wouldn't wanna PULL A MUSCLE or anything.
- Chief: [looking at the bride] NICE ASS BABY
- Attendee: Shhhhh!
- Chief: STFU
- [after Chief has crushed the ceremony]
- Arbiter: What the hell was that?
- Chief: ONE KICKASS WEDDING
- Arbiter: I can't believe you.
- Chief: THAT WAZ SUM FUNNY ASS SHIT
- [pause]
- Arbiter: You know, that actually WAS kinda funny. [pause] You wanna do it again?
- Chief: DAYUM RITE SOON
- Arbiter: I don't even know what you're worried about. You're awesome at Halo!
- Chief: snif... uthikn so??/
- Arbiter: [long pause] ...Yes?
- Chief: MLG?? [pause] I DISAGREE!!1 [shoots Craig]
- Chief: SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI
- Chief: no u
- Chief: *hands the Arbiter a condom* DONT BE DAFT, WRAP UR SHAFT! LOL
[edit] Running jokes
- In episode 1, Master Chief used Jon's frying pan to knock the phone off the wall when it was ringing. Arbiter used it to subdue Chief when carrying a kitchen knife. Chief later used it after Arbiter proved his skills in Halo 3 Multiplayer wrong.
- In episode 8, Cortana gave a harsh comment on Chief's Halo 3 Forge map, and Chief gave an extremely offensive reply. In response, Cortana casually picked up the frying pan randomly lying on the floor, dragged it on to the sofa/couch and smacked Chief through the window with it.
- In episode 12, Chief used it to smack Todd when they were fighting each other.
- A kitchen knife was also used as a weapon:
- In episode 1, Chief grabbed a knife while looking for Arbiter.
- In episode 9, Chief used it again for the same purpose, but Chief was looking for the newcomers introduced in that episode, Todd and Travis.
- In episodes 11 and 12, Chief used a different knife (shorter, but sharper) in an attempt to kill Todd and Travis, and described it as the "ROFLKNIEF". When Chief almost defeated Todd, he grabbed the knife and says that it demands blood and used his ventriloquist skills to make the knife say "BL00D PLZ K THX L0L".
- In Endgame: Part Four, Master Chief holds his foot out, while holding the knife above his head. He brings it down, however, on a jar of peanut butter instead, which he spreads on some toast. Afterwards, he actually does cut his own foot off, as an attempt to regain his Recon Armor.
- Jon's digital bedside clock is shown several times, always displaying the time “3:43.” This is an obvious reference to the Halo character 343 Guilty Spark.
- Master Chief has made numerous videos containing one single main song. "Crawling" by Linkin Park. In the commentary of Master Chief sucks at Halo 3, DigitalPh33r states that he used this song in Master Chief's montage because he finds it overused and overplayed in real videos.
- The number 420 has appeared at the end of a few gamertags in the series. The number is a reference to Marijuana.
- Master Chief sometimes calls an item he's either using or wielding, a ROFL-item. He's done this with the Rocket Launcher, the kitchen knife, Skylar Lovehart's car, after escaping him and the well known, Roflcopter.
- For some strange reason, all of Master Chiefs' pathetic excuses for machinima seem to take exactly 7 weeks to produce and release. (a reference to Bungie's love of the number 7?)
