Spriggs

From Halo Machinima

Spriggs is a Halo 3 machinima comic science fiction comedy series created by Running Gun Productions and has been distributed from the internet. The series is about a group known as the fifth intergalactic infantry who are abandoned by the proclaimed army and are left on Zambai 7. The history of the machinima's setting is: With the galaxy now at peace after the Intergalactic Civil War, the humans have signed a peace treaty with the Covenant Elites. The series opens up after 3 war veterans are removed from their original posts and are to form the fifth intergalactic infantry however, what they do not know is that it is just a plot to keep those chosen few away from the army from causing anymore damage than what they had already caused.

Contents 1 Plot 1.1 Season 1 1.1.1 Episode 1: "Spriggs" 1.1.2 Episode 2: "Housecall" 1.1.3 Episode 3: "My Tank is Fight" 1.1.4 Episode 4: "Cake or Death" 1.1.5 Episode 5: "Hammer Time" 1.1.6 Episode 6: "Unloaded" 1.2 Season 2 1.2.1 Episode 7: "The Heart of Dorkness" 1.2.1.1 Part A 1.2.1.2 Part B 1.2.2 Episode 8: "Special Delivery" 1.2.2.1 Part A 1.2.2.2 Part B 1.2.3 Episode 9: "Major Pain" 1.2.3.1 Part A 1.2.3.2 Part B 1.2.4 Episode 10: "Intercepted" 1.2.4.1 Part A 1.2.4.2 Part B 1.2.5 Episode 11: "Bullet Points" 1.2.5.1 Part A 1.2.5.2 Part B 1.2.6 Episode 12: "Blitzkrieg Ball" 1.2.6.1 Part A 1.2.6.2 Part B 1.2.6.3 Part C 1.2.7 Episode 13: "All Hail the Murphy" 2 Characters 2.1 Main Characters 2.1.1 Specialist Spriggs 2.1.2 Lieutenant Hammer 2.1.3 Specialist Willy 2.1.4 Sergeant Mitch Miles Murphy (Triple M) 2.1.5 Captain Meme 2.1.6 General Vollin 2.1.7 Lieutenant Rogir 2.1.8 Soltri 2.1.9 Rotri 2.1.10 Boltri 2.2 Major Characters 2.2.1 The Pink Squad 2.2.2 Rainbow Squad 2.2.2.1 Sarah Pink 2.2.2.2 Jim Black 2.2.2.3 Colm Red 2.2.2.4 Wendy Yellow 2.2.2.5 Philip Blue 2.3 Minor Characters 2.3.1 The Computer 3 Running Jokes 3.1 Willy's Team Killing 3.2 Triple M's Anime 3.3 Spriggs's Mongoose 3.4 Willy's Supplier 3.5 Spriggs vs. Willy 4 Links

[edit] Plot

[edit] Season 1

[edit] Episode 1: "Spriggs"

Willy is once again trying to kill Spriggs. Hammer then assigns Triple M to put a stop to this after promoting him to Sergeant (all due to Triple M's ability to get himself into trouble without people trying).

Triple M at first manages to calm Willy down before Spriggs makes him lose it again and makes him fire multiple rockets at random directions just to try to hit Spriggs, only to accidentally fire a rocket into Hammer's command room while he was trying to call in for more soldiers, setting off explosions inside and making him fly into a wall.

Triple M comments that at least he didn't hit anything important, right before a rocket that Willy shot creates a big explosion off-screen.

[edit] Episode 2: "Housecall"

Willy and Triple M bring Hammer to a room that a nurse will arrive to heal Hammer's wounds. They drop him twice along the way and Willy is afraid to watch him alone despite Hammer being crippled.

Hammer then threatens to slit Willy's throat and rip his testicles out. Willy tells Hammer of a nurse coming. Hammer first complains about the unbearable pain, but then suddenly asks which nurse was called. Willy replied that it was the one "in your little black book, you ladies man." Hammer requested for a pistol to blow his brains out, but the nurse arrives earlier, Hammer identifying her as Meme.

Meme asks Willy to leave but Hammer insists to stay. But, after an argument between Hammer and Meme, Willy eventually runs off while Hammer begs Willy to stay, offering to give him a promotion, give him money, buy him hookers, a car, a boat, and a boat full of hookers (The S.S. Hooker). Meme says it's just her and him, much to Hammer's dismay.

Outside, Willy comments that he is going to blog about this. Spriggs arrives and Willy thanks her for a number of things in the past (namely not asking him to take off his pants in front of his former girlfriend), promising a quick and painless death. However, Spriggs repays him by smashing her Mongoose at Willy.

[edit] Episode 3: "My Tank is Fight"

Spriggs heads out the same building and Willy runs after her, saying "Of course you know, this means WAR."

While Meme is healing Hammer, he accuses her of harvesting him for organs. She claims that he is not worth it whatsoever as his meat is and always was for "unfit for consumption". Meme said that there wasn't enough anesthetic to put a two-year-old kid under due to lack of supplies, once again due to lack of Pelicans due to the UNSC confiscating them to "Handle the growing crisis on Earth." Hammer said that command told them that the medics had the Pelicans, which Meme replies that they were using Hornets to transport people.

Willy meanwhile prepares to face off against Spriggs again while Triple M checks up on him. Willy attempts to target Spriggs but can't get her to stay still. Suddenly Spriggs then appears three times at once, confusing Willy enough to allow Spriggs to get into a tank to chase and shoot a panicking Willy, also destroying his weapons.

During the credits there are three aliens (Covenant Elites) talking about a spaceship crash.

[edit] Episode 4: "Cake or Death"

Willy asks Triple M to open the front gate of the complex but has to go through an extremely complicated computer system that may set off either flame turrets, deadly neurotoxins, or floor spikes, and was told not to go for the cake because that was how they lost their major. During his lecture on how to operate the computer, Meme contacts Triple M for supplies, Hammer begs Triple M to get him out of Meme's care claiming that she hit him again.

Triple M then gets a call from General Volin who needed to speak to Captain Meme and asks Triple M not to kidnap any more friendly generals. When General V finishes her message Triple M mutters "bitch", which Meme hears and is then told by Triple M that Volin wants to speak to her. Willy then interrupts the line by hacking into it and asking to open the door, and if they need any Morphine, which Hammer demands. Triple M manages to open the door at last.

The aliens meanwhile are arguing about what to do, the White alien (Soltri) wants food while the Grey one (Rotri) suggests killing and eating the humans while the Blue one (Boltri, or Boom Boom) comments about how they taste. They steal a Warthog and drive off with it.

Triple M then is checking inventory to make some sort of Mech. Willy manages to steal Spriggs's Mongoose only for Spriggs to nod disapprovingly and to use her spare. Willy then carelessly drives it over a hill. Spriggs drives by Triple M who wishes for a Mongoose, only to have one drop out of the sky. He then tries a more whimsical wish only to get Willy to land on the ground,causing him to exclaim "Aw, you suck!"

Willy then pursues Spriggs with a flamethrower, attempts to trap Spriggs and after doing so attempts to kill her with a tank, only when he attempts to fire the tank it explodes. In a rage, Willy pulls out his Rocket Launcher and begins firing rockets in random locations. One coincidentially enough is aimed at the supplies Triple M had arranged for the construction of his mech. The rocket detonates the Fusion Cores (which were also coincidentally enough the power supply for the base), which ruins the rest of his supplies for the Mech.

[edit] Episode 5: "Hammer Time"

Meme announces that she has finished Hammer's treatment in the explosion caused by Willy in Episode 1 to Triple M and Willy. Hammer asks how he looks and the three sugarcoat it due to the fact that Meme has made him look like an Elite. When Triple M asks Spriggs how Hammer looks, Spriggs responds by a series of swear words (which are bleeped because of a running gag that Spriggs speaks in a series of beeps). They restate their comments about Hammer's appearance such as Meme quotes "I did my job to the human race to ensure that you would never breed again," Hammer says that he is going for a drive and gets in his suit, commenting that it is harder to fit in than usual.

The aliens meanwhile have come back and Roltri comments that the mission was successful but Soltri comments that he is not reliable while Boltri is trying to get their attention while Roltri recollects that he got the alien three translator in which Soltri comments on why the grunts were so willing to trade three of theirs for the aliens' one translator. Boltri then finally gets their attention, asking if they remembered to get any food, which they didn't, much to Soltri's dismay.

While back at the base, Hammer angrily asks where the tanks have gone, in which Triple M blames Willy and says that they could potentially be halfway to Kansas. Hammer asks why would they be halfway to Kansas in which Triple M comments that the power cores that he was working with may have been unstable. When Hammer asks what power cores, Triple M replies that he had no recollection of any power cores. Willy comments that maybe Triple M may have been working on a Plasma Core launching system because our enemy doesn't have one (to which Hammer angrily replies that there are no enemies due to the fact that they were at peacetime).

Hammer asks Willy for a report on the plausibilty of a Plasma Core launching system and have it at his desk at 0430 because "I need napkins for my donuts." then asks Triple M to begin rebuilding his tanks instead of toliet detail, which Hammer gives to Meme.

Hammer says that this is his base and she should be working under him if she's gonna be watching him. The next scene shows Hammer cleaning up the toilets. Hammer says to Triple M "Well that went well," in which Triple M replies that "You really showed her," before Meme orders them to get back to work.

[edit] Episode 6: "Unloaded"

Willy calls off his truce with Spriggs as he chases her throughout the valley in a Scorpion tank. Willy follows Spriggs hoping the tank is loaded but ends up getting yelled at by Triple M who hasn't actually finished fixing the tank therefore not loading it with any rounds (or Nerf rounds). So Willy decides just to ram Spriggs.

As Willy chases Spriggs, Willy, Spriggs and Triple M end up having a Warthog, stolen by the group of lost aliens, slammed into them because of the driver, driving with no hands through the air. This seems to mix match who is where, ending with Soltri in the driver's seat of the Warthog with Triple M in the passenger with a Magnum to his head. Boltri is on the back of the Scorpion, whacking it with his fist, and Rotri is meleeing the cover of the Scorpion tank with his Gravity Hammer.

Spriggs seems to stay in front with her Mongoose still going, continuing the chase but with some extras as Boltri and Rotri are discussing how it wouldn't matter if Willy didn't let them in if the Scorpion tank "Went boom." Meme and Hammer appear now standing at the gate talking about Willy as Spriggs drives through, with the tank running Hammer and Meme over behind him.

Hammer ends up now on the back of Spriggs's Mongoose telling her to stop, soon to be nailed by the tank and yelling to keep going instead. Hammer then turns his attention to Willy and yells at him to stop the tank. At the back, Meme ends up in the gunner of the Warthog with Sotri doing donuts. Meme asks Triple M, who's still in the passenger, what the alien is doing and he answers: "Third Gear", slightly making Meme studder as she thinks to give the alien permission. Sotri comments on there being another one, which Triple M replies if he ever shuts up. Sotri replies that he would if there wasn't a pistol stuck to his head, to which Triple M switches to his shotgun. Sotri comments, "Oh, that feels so much better." as he resumes the chase.

The scene goes to Hammer and Spriggs rounding a corner with Willy driving his tank with the two aliens still on him, very close to the mongoose. Willy then begins to speak of a breaking system... But is to late as he drives the tank off the side of a cliff with the Warthog driving into the tank, also driving off the cliff. From left to right on a ridge Willy, Hammer, Triple M, and Meme all look down the cliff at the wreckage below as Willy compares the size of the gorge with Hammer's mom, Hammer saying bye to his tank, Triple M stating the Hog is gone as well and Meme saying the aliens are down in the gorge also having Hammer follow up by calling the Warthog junk.

When the group turns to return to base the only vehicle left is Spriggs's mongoose. Triple M tries to coax Spriggs's to allow him on the back to give him a ride to base, but she just turns and drives off. As the group heads back to base, Meme stops them so she can talk to Willy about where he gets his supplies. Willy replies with a "I get it delivered" with Meme stating she found wrappers from fast food restaurants on his floor, eventually pissing off Triple M who starts to beat the crap out of Willy with Hammer stopping him just so he can kill Willy, but Meme screams that she can be the only one who will kill, following up with no Pelican drops in two weeks.

Willy and Meme continue on, calling each other idiots, trying to outrank the other, and flaming each other on their ranks, and soon ending with Meme and Willy explaining how if the were command, they'd put a bunch of idiots on a rock somewhere, allowing Triple M to explain that Zambai 7 is that type of rock for abandoning a bunch of idiots on.

The camera then zooms to show a hidden Spartan in the distance, called back by Volin after learning that the Fifth Intergalactic Infantry Battalion had actually learned why they were stationed on Zambai 7 in the first place. The Spartan calmly replies that they take their time, stating that it would take a miracle for him to be found. Ironically, Rotri stumbles across him soon afterward.

[edit] Season 2

[edit] Episode 7: "The Heart of Dorkness"

[edit] Part A

The episode begins with the same blue Spartan found in Episode 6, unconscious, and remembering what occurred two days ago.

The scene switches to the UNSC base, where Volin is speaking to the blue Spartan, identified as Lieutenant Rogir, explaining that with Meme embedded in the Fifth, their insidious plot to keep the idiots stranded on Zambai 7 was close to being unraveled, which could turn out as a worse case scenario since both Spriggs and Willy were assigned to the Fifth, as well as Triple M. The later was apparently sent there due to a mishap between him, an Elite general, and a tutu. Rogir commented that he did enjoy Triple M's stunt, as the Elite did look really good in the tutu. Volin tells him that they require a special operative. A man of action and vision. Rogir replied with "Yes ma'am." until he learned that Volin was referring to him, which the cowardly lieutenant replied with ''Oh hell, no!". Volin asked him if he had a choice, with Rogir replying that he could just shoot himself now and save himself the trouble. Volin denied that request and ordered that he be on the Hornet at 0610, which Rogir replied that it was currently 0609. Volin reminded Rogir that failure to comply would be viewed as dereliction of duty, where he would be shot.... to the officer's choosing. Rogir left immediately, with Volin commenting "And they say good help is hard to find."

The scene then switches to the valley, where Rogir sees Willy testing out his newly made Plasma Core Launching System (referenced in Episode 5) on Spriggs, although apparently missing the red Spartan zooming around on her Mongoose. While Rogir was continuing his monologue on how command was a bit crazy, but Spriggs and Willy far outclassed that, he obliviously never noticed the burning Hornet crashing behind him, a victim of Willy's rage. Rogir commented that Willy had never been right after the war, due to one of Spriggs's operations. The camera switches to Willy, where he is seen flinging power cores at Spriggs to no lasting damage (scratch the Hornet). As Spriggs used Willy's Plasma Core Launching System to launch himself and his Mongoose, Rogir commented, "Spriggs, the black hole of all classified reports. The kind of classified report that came to you dipped in ink, to save time."

Rogir then kept watch behind a rock, commenting that Willy's attempts to kill Spriggs were better than television. Willy yelled that he ran out of Plasma Cores to launch at her and it would take all day to haul it back up the hill to kill him with it. Willy and Spriggs decided on a truce (Spriggs replying in beeps from her Mongoose) that Willy would haul up the Plasma Cores back up to his launching system so he could pick up with his attempts to kill Spriggs tomorrow, approximately the same time. Spriggs drives off, and Willy looks for his power cores, which seemingly vanish. The only cause for it (in Willy's mind) is Triple M, and he storms off to look for him.

The scene switches to Triple M, beside a Scorpion tank, speaking to Meme on the Com. Meme needed to speak with Willy, but he unfortunately turned off his Com.Meme asks Triple M if he could find Willy and tell him to turn on his Com. Hearing Willy behind him, Triple M told Willy to turn on his Com and turned toward him, only to see Willy holding up a minigun toward Triple M.

Willy asked Triple M where the power cores were, which Triple M replied that he didn't take any power cores. Willy asked Triple M if Mr. Minigun wouldn't get angry at him if he was lying, to which Triple M replied "That depends. Is Mr. Tank going to get angry because you're threatening me?" and, corresponding to that, the tank's main cannon became locked on Willy. Triple M asked if he would take Willy's power cores without asking. Willy replied why he would answer that question after the time Triple M made all the power cores mysteriously disappear in his attempt to create a railgun (which was actually his ruined attempt to make a mech). Willy said that, if he didn't have them, Hammer obviously didn't want them after Episode 1's incident, and Meme was too busy yapping on the radio, who would that leave?

The scene switches to Spriggs and Rogir passing each other without really noticing each other, then back to Willy and Triple M, agreeing that they would split all found or mislocated power cores found as well as any sandwiches found along the way. Willy then says that he would go back to killing Spriggs the old fashioned way, to which Spriggs (who turned up behind Willy) replied with a beep, startling Willy. As Spriggs hurried off, Willy called off their truce and drove off in Triple M's tank, forwarding Episode 6's events.

After a few brief scenes from Episode 6, the scene switches back to Rogir, held captive by the aliens. Soltri comments that Rotri and his translators were made of fail, then says to bring out the extended translators, vowing to find out what he's saying even if they have to kill him in the process.

[edit] Part B

Switching back to the Fifth after the events of Episode 6, the battalion complains about how far away their base was with Hammer asking if they would talk about something else, to which Willy replies that he would bitch a bit about how they were all left to die by command. Triple M yells for silence among the group, and Meme agrees with him, asking Willy to imitate Spriggs for a bit.

Spriggs, driving a Warthog, pulls up to Willy. Willy tells him that he's too tired to kill her right now and to either shove the Warthog up her ass or keep on driving. Spriggs takes the latter of the two choices, much to Hammer's and Meme's dismay as they chase after the speeding Warthog. Triple M comments on how Willy just always tries to be a bastard.

The scene switches to Rogir's monologue about how the Fifth was supposed to hit the Elites hard at a base in Zambai 7, only to find the base abandoned and the Human-Covenant War starting. By the time the Fifth was organized and deployed, the war was over and the Fifth remained the largest military force left surviving.

Switching back to Rogir and the aliens, Rogir begs for his life from the aliens, who, by their reactions, have absolutely no idea what he's saying at all. Soltri yells "Stop screaming and we'll kill you." to which Rogir screams that alive is good, yielding a bit of a positive reaction from the Elites.

Due to their crappy translators, Soltri and his brothers have an impossibly hard time asking Rogir to take them to his leader. Rogir replies "All your base are belong to us.", which the translator translates as You've been Pwned with a big P. Rotri gives Boltri permission to shoot Rogir, which he attempts with the Spartan Laser but misses, yielding a long rant of yells and screams from Rogir.

Rogir asks them what the hell is wrong with them because what they were doing to him was in directly violation of the Human-Elite Peace Agreement and, because they could barely understand him, he couldn't answer his questions. The translator, unfortunately, translated it as ""Blah blah blah, you're race can't speak. Go to hell. I won't answer your questions." Soltri gives Boltri permission to do whatever he wants to him, which Boltri does gladly.

Rogir mutters that the Elites were morons, which Boltri replies that Mom and Dad were second cousins, which Rogir corrects as brother and sister. Boltri promises to make Rogir's death slow and painful. Rogir attempts to bribe them with a candy bar, but Boltri whines that he won't get any fun. Rogir asks who the hell were they, to which Boltri quickly replies that the pink one was Soltri, the gray one was Rotri, and he was Boltri, or Boom Boom as his brothers called them, but Rogir was to call him Your lord and master.

Rogir asks if he could be let go, but Boltri says that he was their first real prisoner of war (since their previous one was already dead). Rogir says that it would be impossible for him to be a prisoner of war since they were at peace, to which Soltri confirms that the translator is broken since he swore he heard Rogir say that they were at peace.

Rogir says that they worked things out with the Arbiter, which Soltri exclaims "There's a new Arbiter?" Rogir calmly explains that the Elites joined the humans after the Prophets betrayed them, to which Rotri scoffs "Right. Next you'll tell us that the Arbiter and the Demon joined forces hand in hand to save the universe." which was ironically correct. Rogir asks if the aliens had been living under a rock, to which Soltri replies "Maybe."

Rogir comments that this was almost as bad as that Elite general that Triple M put in a tutu. When the aliens ask which general this was, Rogir says that it was an Elite called Trogtree (sp?), which the three simultaneously exclaimed "Dad!" Soltri remembers that Triple M was mentioned among the humans, and asked if it was the red one, while Rotri says that he heard it was the green one. Boltri exclaims that he has a plan, saying that all he'll need to get Triple M was spray paint and a very petite human, which happened to be Rogir.

Back at the human base, Meme and Hammer are exhausted from their long walk back from the valley, while Willy explained that it was their own fault and they should have let him handle it. Hammer angrily retorts that, even if he had hit Spriggs, his rockets would have destroyed the Warthog. Willy said that it might have, five miles from where they were now so it would have saved them a lot of walking. Meme comments bitterly that you can't argue with stupid.

Hammer tries to bring the group together so they can devise a plan to leave Zambai 7, but before they do, they get a challenge from the aliens, hilariously misinterpreting a video game by saying that "If you refuse, we will feed your Princess Peach (Rogir spray painted pink) to your legendary villain: Mario!" Willy misunderstands the challenge, believing it's Cinemax, while Triple M believes that they got Action Network and that Willy fucked up again. As the aliens finish their challenge, Willy says, "This show sucks. Which channel is Mythbusters on?" and switches to a different channel, ending the episode.

[edit] Episode 8: "Special Delivery"

[edit] Part A

Willy begins preaching about how command left them to rot and die slowly on Zambai 7, and proposes that they fight back against the oppression being dealt by command. Meme dismisses him in mid-rant, allowing her, Triple M, Hammer, and Spriggs to resume their card game. Triple M first asks Hammer, then Spriggs if she has any twos, which causes Willy to pull out a Rocket Launcher to kill Spriggs. Hammer tries to dissuade Willy by saying that they were all in a room filled with high explosives and that he was going to kill them all again. Triple M first tells him that they were all in the room, including the doctor who would be very angry with him if she lives and, when that didn't work, asked Willy if he would rather attack command for stranding them on Zambai 7 or attack Spriggs. Coupled with Willy's low intelligence, this complicated thought causes Willy to have a stroke, which Meme takes care of.

When Willy is revived, Willy apparently has amnesia about what happened, in which Hammer repeated Triple M's question, causing Willy to have another stroke. Meme revives him, in which Willy says that that would put a dent in his manscaping. Meme tells him to avoid the subject, but Hammer presses on it, provoking Meme to tell Willy, "What happens to him, I do to you, except worse." Willy asks if she's really going to follow up on that, in which Meme shocks him. Meme then tells Spriggs to leave for a bit, saying that Willy was going to be difficult today.

As Spriggs leaves the base, she notices a group of UNSC Hornets landing only a few miles away. Donning a Sniper Rifle, she speeds off in a Mongoose after them. After Meme calms Willy down, Hammer returns to devising a plan to escape Zambai 7, and asks Willy if he could meet the contact that kept delivering his freight to him from across the galaxy. Willy at first tries to call out some unknown person from the shadows, then exclaims that he was hanging out with Spriggs (who Willy says is a bad influence on him) then comments that, even if he was here, he wouldn't be able to fly them out anyway.

Hammer asks if he has any other plans, which Willy answers that there could be something in the old base, then exclaims that they had a prisoner to interrogate there. Hammer says that he'd rather stay in the base since he had been blown up either, so Meme and Triple M (tricked by Meme into accompanying her) follow Willy to the base.

[edit] Part B

Meanwhile, Vollin, leading the First Semi-mechanized Infantry Battalion, lands the Hornets in the valley and explains that, since Rogir was most likely captured, interrogated, and executed, that the Fifth became too much of a lingering threat and had to be disposed of. Spriggs follows behind them, establishing a sniping position.

Vollin explains to her troops that it is essential that they maintain the element of surprise, but ironically they stumbled across where the battle between the Fifth's two greatest heroes and the aliens was supposed to take place, and Soltri, Boltri, and Rotri open fire. Rogir recognizes Vollin and pleads with her to save him, which Vollin mutters, "Why does this always happen to me?" As the two fight, the aliens prove their incompetence and fail to hit any of the Spartans, but Spriggs, hidden away, begins picking off Vollin's forces.

Vollin orders her soldiers to attack Spriggs since the aliens couldn't hit the broad side of a barn at this distance, but ironically the soldier closest to Vollin gets sniped by Soltri, giving the aliens their first (and only) kill. The battle lasts for a few more seconds before all of Vollin's forces are eliminated. Seeing that Vollin's forces are destroyed, Spriggs throws a grenade at the aliens. Rotri and Boltri stop firing and look at the grenade, Boltri accurately recognizing it.

As the three are occupied, Rogir quickly slips away. Rotri corrects Boltri's statement, saying that it was missing the arming pin and therefore it was a live grenade. When Boltri asks what that means, Rotri says that it's going to go boom, and it immediately does, blowing up the three aliens.

Vollin comments that now it was just Spriggs and her, but Spriggs immediately shoots her and bashes her with her sniper rifle, knocking the general to the ground. Spriggs overhears from one of the dead Spartan's radios that Squad 2 was in position and Squad 3 was nearing toward the command center. Hearing this, Spriggs immediately takes off, leaving Rogir to approach in horror at the remains of the First Semi-Mechanized Infantry Battalion. Vollin tells him to shut up and help her up.

The episode cuts to the base, where Spriggs, arriving, begins taking out parts of Squad 2. In the midst of the battle, Triple M, Meme, and Willy arrive, deep in a conversation of Willy not being able to understand why Meme preferred Spriggs to himself. While the two were conversing, Triple M swore that he heard the sounds of combat and asks if they could check it out, but Willy dismisses it.

The three oblivious approach the base, approached numerous times by Spartans from Squad 2 but never actually discovering them as Spriggs silently takes out each one before they can fire upon the three. As the three enter the base, Spriggs approaches the final two Spartans and takes them out with a grenade, causing a drop of blood to fall right in front of Triple M, who, for some reason, doesn't notice it. Meme tells him to relax, saying that no one was out to kill them and Willy comments that Spriggs wasn't anywhere near here, supporting Meme's claim.

[edit] Episode 9: "Major Pain"

[edit] Part A

The episode opens with the three aliens recuperating after their battle with Vollin's forces, commenting on Rotri falling on his head for no lasting damage, although it would be very painful afterward. Rotri comes to and Soltri exclaims that they had to get those things out of him. Rotri asks what, then looks down and sees spikes sticking out of his chest. Soltri and Boltri deliberate how to patch up Rotri while Rotri exclaims that there were spikes stuck in his chest, which causes Boltri to point out that they were explosives.

Rotri is taken aback by this sudden revelation, and Soltri asks why Boltri pointed that out. Boltri says for both of them to wait, much to the chagrin of Rotri, while he explains that the grenade must have been old, causing the fragments of the grenade not to detonate immediately after the first explosion. Boltri finishes, saying that it would be best for them to wait before operating. Rotri asks what, and the spikes immediately explode afterward,with Boltri stating that that was what they were waiting for.

Rotri mutters that his brothers suck and asks when was he Soltri, which earned a quick rebuttal from Boltri. Soltri comments that he loves Boltri ordering him around, especially since his last plan didn't turn out well. Rotri comments that, during their skirmish with Vollin's forces, he saw Spriggs throw the grenade up to them, thinking he was trying to help. Boltri exclaims that Spriggs was more cunning than he thought, still believing that Spriggs was Triple M, with Soltri still believing that the green Spartan (Triple M) was Triple M.

The episode cuts to a quick monologue of what people speculate may be Spriggs's thoughts.

The scene pans to show the Central Base and Spriggs surrounded by Vollins' forces. The camera is obscured for a second, then is uncovered to show Vollin's forces dead, Spriggs's rifle raised. Meanwhile, Willy, Triple M, and Meme enter the base, Triple M asking what was going on. Willy replies that they were at the base to interrogate the one who had been spying on the group for Vollin, saying it was the computer.

Meme and Triple M back away, agreeing that Willy had become insane. Willy adamantly states that he wasn't any more insane than he always was and that the computer was the only one that could have been spying on them all this time. The computer asks Willy if he would like to play a game, with Willy saying that he was onto the computer's schemes.

Willy intimidates the computer by threatening to install obsolete operating systems such as Vista and Windows Millennium into the computer, causing the computer to exclaim that there were laws against that action and somehow exposing himself. Willy demands to know who the computer works for, but the computer pretends to malfunction, saying that it didn't understand the action and begins venting nerve gas into the room.

Meme and Triple M panic, but Willy begins disassembling parts of the computer, and the computer fails to dispense nerve gas, begin an obibital bombardment, or any of his doomsday devices. Willy asks if the device he extracted was the modem to all of his doomsday devices. The computer, defenseless, confesses that it was Vollin under orders from Central Command who commanded the computer to spy on the group.

Meme interjects, asking the computer to retrieve the order from Central Command. The computer fails to comply with this order, saying that it was severed locally by members of Central Command and that they were currently under attack by Vollin's forces.

[edit] Part B

Meanwhile, Vollin's forces infiltrate the base and surround Hammer, who was enjoying his free time. Hammer comments what he was going to do with sixteen Spartans with Assault Rifles surrounding him, then immediately ducks out of cover. One exclaims that his plan was foiled, expecting them to shoot each other, but then notices the bomb left in his place.

The HQ explodes, killing Vollin's forces, and as Hammer bids farewell to the base, another detachment of Vollin's forces appear and aim at Hammer. The group leads a wild goose chase throughout the base attempting to apprehend Hammer, weaving through various rooms, including the bay where the Warthogs were stored and the room where Spriggs held her Mongooses for maintenance.

Hammer arrives in the repair bay and contacts Triple M. Meme pipes in, quickly stating that Vollin had sent forces to kill them, but Hammer tells her that she, like always, was the last one to know. Hammer asks Triple M where his stash is, and, when Triple M says that it was in the repair bay and tells Hammer to look around, Hammer turns and finds a large assortment of weapons, speculated to be remains from his failed mech project.

The scene cuts to Vollin, recuperating from her skirmish with the aliens, getting a report from the forces attacking Hammer. The forces report that they had cornered Hammer in the repair bay, and, when Vollin asks what was the last known activity in the repair bay, Rogir says that it was used by Triple M for "Special Projects". Vollin asks if Hammer may be up with something, which Rogir asks with another obvious question, "Does this job suck?" Vollin tells her forces that they might want to be prepared.

The episode cuts to the base, where Vollin's forces are being decimated by Spriggs, then back to Hammer, asking for recommendations for what weapon he should use for disposing Vollin's forces. Triple M suggests the standard Assault Rifle, while Willy suggests a Flare rounds. Meme asks if Hammer was ok, saying that she didn't want his torture to end early, and Hammer replies that he was quite refreshed, as he wanted some morons to kill. Hammer dons a Brute Shot and prepares to assault Vollin's forces.

The episode then cuts to Vollin's forces assaulting Hammer, ordering Team 2 to begin the assault. Unfortunately, it turns out that Team 2 had been killed by the aliens, who had manned their tank. Rotri attempts to communicate with the Spartans, believing that he was a flawless actor. Soltri asks if his plan would work, but Rotri says that his plan was flawless. Ironically afterward, a squad approaches them. The squad faces the aliens, but is dumbstruck seeing them perfectly operating the tank. A few flee, and the rest are killed by the aliens.

The remaining soldiers are ambushed and killed by Hammer driving a Chopper, making his escape. The episode cuts to the base again, where, even with a Warthog, Vollin's forces fail to kill Spriggs. With all of Vollin's forces killed, Spriggs joins the three in the base, and Willy notices her, addressing her casually. Meme, not noticing Spriggs, comments that they'd get to the general first before finding Spriggs, and causes another paradox within Willy's mind that sends him into another seizure. The scene cuts off, and the sounds of Meme reviving Willy are heard.

[edit] Episode 10: "Intercepted"

[edit] Part A

The episode opens to Vollin contacting a colonel for reinforcements for disposing of the "Rogue Element". The unknown colonel asks who is left, in which Vollin answers that she had lost all of her notable soldiers, while every single member of the Fifth Battalion was still alive. The colonel exclaims (in a strong German accent), "My God, you suck!". The colonel then agrees to aid the general.

Back at the central base, Triple M asks Meme if there is any way to heal Willy, who is succumbing to another seizure from the paradox of killing Spriggs or killing Vollin and her troops. Meme replies that she is unable to heal him since there has never been a record of someone having three seizures in a row, but Spriggs has her own remedy: Whacking Willy in the back. Willy apparently thinks off his seizure and recharges, one thought on his mind: Killing Spriggs.

Willy jumps back up, madder than ever, and literally plows through the wall in an attempt to kill Spriggs. Meme comments on how Willy recovering after only a miracle could save him to be not physically possible, but Triple M reminds her that it's Willy that they're talking about, and, when dealing with him, the laws of physics go right out the window; Or the wall, as the case may be.

Back at the base, the aliens Soltri, Boltri, and Rotri have successfully hijacked one of Vollin's tanks and were mopping up the majority of Vollin's forces. In his rage, Boltri (though apparently Soltri was piloting the tank at the time) shot a bolt into their kitchen, which was a section of the base. Soltri hopes that they had turned off the stove before they left the kitchen, and, seconds later, the entirety of the kitchen explodes, destroying all of their food.

Meanwhile, at the central base, Meme tells Triple M to download and format as many information from the traitorous computer as possible. Triple M does so, but tells Meme to hold on as he gazes in awe at the hole in the wall Willy had caused as a result of chasing Willy. The computer suggests a tactical retreat. Triple M breaks himself from his self-induced trance and finds himself surrounded by several of Vollin's soldiers. He immediately runs to Meme, yelling, "Hold the door!" as she begins to close the door into the hallway. They both seal themselves in Hallway 12, and the soldiers report their status to Vollin, who says to keep them contained as they are the ones she wants to talk to.

Rogir then swears angrily, learning of Triple M's origins. According to him, Triple M was a brilliant member of Rainbow Squad until he was assigned to the Fifth for unexplainable reasons. Rogir wondered why, since his service record was spotless, yet was nominated numerous times for promotion but never advanced. Finally, Rogir had looked into his file and learned of Triple M's real name, but before he could tell it to Vollin, Hammer attacks Vollin's Hornet with a Chopper and, in an evasive maneuver, Vollin accidentally flings Rogir off of her Hornet and into a nearby crashed Pelican.

Hammer, meanwhile, celebrates his freedom from the base, but is immediately confronted by Vollin, who says that their past history did not impact on what she was about to do. Hammer argues that he didn't sleep with everyone at the base (which means he had a short-lived relationship with Vollin back then), before, but Rogir interjects with a wise-crack comment, which only serves to get Vollin angrier. Vollin then fires at Hammer, causing him to flee and contact the base in the hope to get assistance.

[edit] Part B

Meanwhile, Hammer is successfully able to contact Meme and Triple M, though Meme says that they're busy and cuts the connection. Meme then decides to tell everyone involved in the conspiracy of Zambai 7, though when the computer uploads the entire registry of everyone abandoned, they learn that everyone on Zambai 7 was abandoned as a part of the conspiracy.

Triple M decides to tell Rainbow Squad, but Meme warns him to keep it secret. Triple M establishes a connection, but unfortunately contacts Sarah Pink, who he seems to mistrust the most with this information. He asks for Jim Black, then Colm Red, Wendy Yellow, and Phillip Blue, though all are, respectively, having private time, getting food, having private time, or crying over Wendy Yellow and watching some of the hentai Triple M had left behind (to which Meme mutters that she didn't need that mental image). With no one else to speak to, Triple M then begins to tell her the entire conspiracy.

Meanwhile, Spriggs arrives in the valley where Hammer encountered Vollin, Willy in hot pursuit with a rocket launcher. After a brief chase, Willy manages to latch onto Spriggs's Mongoose, though, before he can shoot Spriggs, he notices some of Vollin's troops firing at Spriggs. Claiming then kill stealers, Willy redirects his fire toward Vollin's troops, and the two form a loose alliance to defeat the soldiers, the incentive being Willy wanting to be the only one to kill Spriggs.

The semi-dynamic duo run into Hammer and Vollin and Willy, either accidental or intentional, fires at Vollin, destroying her Hornet. The three reconcile, Hammer commenting that he would have never expected the two specialists to work together. Spriggs, however, says in a rage that they can't have Spriggs since Spriggs is his kill. Hammer then gets Willy's attention, reminding him that there were people currently trying to kill them at the moment. Willy, however, is too focused on defending Spriggs so he can kill her later.

Adding to their troubles is the aliens, who run into the three. Still convinced that Triple M is Spriggs, Boltri primes the main cannon. However, while Hammer still tries to plow sense into Willy, Spriggs notices the three and their tank just as the tank fires.

Back at the base, Triple M finishes up his summary of the events that had occurred on Zambai 7 with a diagram of their situation being portrayed as a ghost being eaten by a Pac-Man, where Triple M says that they were all fucked.... in the bad way. Sarah Pink says that she's going to tell everyone about it, but Triple M tells her NOT to tell anyone. After promising her to not tell anyone, Triple M ends the connection.

After the credits, Sarah Pink is seen telling the entire thing to a program known as Kitty Killer Bot Personal Diary, which happens to be transmitting to everyone in the Zambai system.

[edit] Episode 11: "Bullet Points"

This was the first episode that had a memorial message before its usual intro. It credited Donald Jones and Travis Ferren, who had passed away during production.

[edit] Part A

The episode opens to the computer switching through several surveillance videos of Zambai before finally locking onto Sarah Pink. She was talking to her Kitty Killer Bot Personal Diary and inadvertently processing everything that Triple M had told her to the computer. Before she leaves, she makes quick connections to how Triple M's information on Vollin and the computer had also been related to several attempts on their lives last time. As she leaves, the computer comments that he hopes that it had been translated, since he didn't want to go through her rambling again.

The scene skips to Weather Station Z 41. Due to a collaboration with Young Street Productions, the characters of Forecast had made a brief cameo, Craig predicting a rain of apocalyptic fire on Zambai 7, then asking if they would get paid after this. Craig asks Zoom if he's recording, in which Zoom replies sarcastically if he would lie to him. The scene switches to an animation possibly made on Half-Life 2, though not confirmed, where a man says that the Zambai project should have never been labelled TOP SECRET if nobody involved in the project could actually keep it a secret. He then says to get the admiral on the phone, saying that people were going to die as a result.

Returning to the valley, Spriggs immediately backs up the Mongoose, narrowly avoiding the tank's blast. However, Hammer is hit fully and is knocked from his Chopper and his armor. The aliens run up to apprehend the soldier, believing that they had captured Triple M, but are immediately shocked to see Hammer, who, because of Meme's previous operation, had looked like a Sangheili (Elite) as a result. The aliens apologize, Rotri blaming Boltri for firing at Hammer, though Hammer says that he would get ahold of their father and discipline then. However, before he can finish, Hammer is knocked unconscious by Boltri. Roltri immediately criticizes his brother for being an idiot for this action, and, after a long, awkward silence, the two attack Boltri.

Overhead, Rogir watches in pleasant amusement. Rogir comments silently that, while he felt sorry for Hammer, he was happy that he wasn't the prisoner this time. Willy, who had snuck up behind him, asked Rogir what he meant by last time. Rogir, absentminded, tells Willy about his entire capture due to the aliens. Willy asks Rogir if he had seen Spriggs rocketing past. Rogir asks why he would be interested, then remembers that there was only one soldier interested in Spriggs. He turns and finds himself confronted by Willy, who asks if he knows Rogir.

Rogir quickly went into a small monologue, commenting that, if Willy learned that Rogir was part of Vollin's forces, Willy would quickly tear him apart, and then said that he had to be sly and cunning to outwit Willy, which wouldn't be hard, seeing how Willy was an idiot. Unfortunately, Rogir had spoke out-loud, and Willy comments that he was standing right beside Rogir. Rogir quickly lies to Hammer, saying that he was sent by Hammer and was here to help, though Willy was not fooled and quickly took Rogir as a prisoner.

Back at the base, two guards holding position outside of Meme and Triple M's position trade idle conversation for a while before they encounter the two German colonels that Vollin had called in, the "Pink Squad", who ask if the guards were part of the Goon Squad because of their armor. The colonels reprimand the guards, saying that they were supposed to hand over their duties to the real men. The guards thank the colonels, telling them that they would hand their duties over to the real men when they arrived.

Vollin barges in soon after. The guard quickly asks Vollin where the Pink Squad is supposed to be assigned, but Vollin explains that the Pink Squad is one of the most loyal and effective groups left, called in from Earth specifically for this mission, though their demeanors are unique. The Pink Squad comments that they had also completed TWO Omega Class scenarios, which are classified by Vollin. The guard decides to go off for lunch, but not before another guard, the entire Pink Squad, and Vollin tells him to bring back some food. After the guard comments sardonically about his new job as a waiter, another reminds him that he hasn't been shot yet. A Pink Squad member then drops his gun, which goes off and shoots the guard.

[edit] Part B

The camera switches back to several of the sections of Zambai 7, where Sarah Pink's Kitty Killer Bot Personal Diary had relayed her message to every single radio in Zambai.

The camera eventually rests in the valley, where Willy is leading a captured Rogir. Willy tells him that he's a burden and now he has two people he had to find. Rogir asks if he can be freed since Willy has so much he has to do, but Willy says that he can't. Rogir explains that, in the time he's been on Zambai, he's had nothing but completely bad luck. However, Willy says that, since Rogir is part of the Zambai project, Willy had to assume that he's merely hiding his abilities. Rogir, however, says that he's just a scout and refuses to be a prisoner again. Willy then suggests again to change his frame of mind, pretending that he's a forced guest. Rogir comments sarcastically how exciting that sounds, but Willy turns around, noticing something targeted at them.

Meanwhile, Meme asks Triple M where their help is. Triple M contacts the Rainbow Squad member that was sent to help him but, unfortunately, it turned out that the message that Zambai was actually a death trap had caused the denizens to attack in an all-out rampage, causing a large road block that was delaying them. The Rainbow Squad member asks them to hold out, which Triple M comments that it wouldn't be that hard.

Outside, Vollin asks if, since the entire base is "rigged to reach the moon", she can speak to Triple M and Meme. The leader, however, tells Vollin that, since it was Triple M inside, alone and helpless like a little kitten, it would be difficult and that they had to act now. Vollin exclaims that they were supposed to be a professional unit and that their mission was to disarm the two and bring them in. The two disagree and plan to do the process by the book, which was to evacuate the base, detonate the bomb, set the ruins ablaze, and nuke the remainder.

Hours later, the base's emergency exits are opened as the base is set to be blown up. Triple M and Meme emerge, ready to negotiate, though they find the valley eerily empty. Meme says she doesn't care where everyone is and gestures toward a nearby Warthog, saying that they should leave.

[edit] Episode 12: "Blitzkrieg Ball"

[edit] Part A

The episode opens to one of Vollin's First Battalion soldiers and one of the Pink Squad's soldiers guarding the entrance to a garage, the former constantly being mocked by the latter with "Your mom." jokes. Spriggs shows up several times behind them along with the rhythm that accompanies her, though the Pink Squad soldier either doesn't or refuses to tell the former that he hears him. Finally, the soldier insists that he hears something, but, before the Pink Squad soldier can reply, Spriggs runs over both of them with her Mongoose.

Back in the valley, Rogir is completely astounded by Willy's robot, which turns out to be a highly advanced piece of machinery. Apparently frightened, the robot stuns Rogir with his laser, though Willy quickly tells his robot to calm down. He then tells him that Rogir was harmless since he was his prisoner, then, treating the robot as though it was a child, asks him if he knew what a prisoner was. Rogir asks what the robot does, in which the robot states its name, Aflack Quire Model III Personal Maintenance Unit, then welcomes Rogir, but glitches mid-sentence. Willy explains that its a robot that he was working on for a while, though it has several logic and memory errors that prevent it from operating at full capacity, so it's still a Work in Progress. Willy then demonstrates its abilities, ordering it to spawn a Scorpion Tank and 300 Happy Meals, where Rogir quickly asks for one of the 300 Happy Meals.

Willy then shows one of its errors, asking for alcohol but getting a rejection error in its place. Rogir, however, explains that he could be a syntac error and explains how alcohol is split into different categories when classified as a drink, but, when getting into ethanol alcohol, Willy proves his slow mind by asking if ethanol was some sort of fruit drink. Rogir then asks if Willy had asked for a kind of drinkable alcohol, such as vodka, then realizes that it had been the amount and explains to Willy that probably the robot didn't register shots.

Willy, understanding, asks for 50 GALLONS of Vodka. The robot is able to comply, however, the gallons of Vodka unfortunately flatten Rogir in the process. Rogir complains that he can't feel anything in his body, but then comments how good the Vodka is. Willy harshly reminds Rogir not to drink all of his Vodka.

[edit] Part B

Meanwhile, Hammer awakens to find himself in pain and in the presence of the aliens. Due to Meme's surgery before, Hammer looks completely like an Elite, and therefore the aliens believe him one of them. Due to nearly blasting him apart prior, the aliens took Hammer back to the base and treated him, though the machine they were using didn't recognize Hammer as an alien probably due to DNA complications. Despite this, the machine is able to leave Hammer fully intact. Soltri implies that this might not be one of their own because of the machine's analysis, but they still believe otherwise that Hammer is one of them.

Hammer first comments how his hands are now as mutilated as his face, then asks who the aliens were and why they blew him up. Soltri comments that they aren't exactly content with company since they haven't had any company in a while, then offers Hammer some barbecue. Soltri then introduces himself and his brothers, the others quite nervous on how their dad would react when learning of the friendly fire. Rotri also quickly comments that, for future reference, Soltri declared fire on Hammer.

Hammer asks how exactly old the aliens are, in which the aliens reply 4 cycles. Hammer asks that again in human years after consuming a piece of human barbecue, though the aliens do not understand why their shipmaster would care to know why. Hammer explains that he's a Fleetmaster, a new position recently made, then asks the aliens if they knew about the Human-Elite Peace Agreement. The aliens admit that they did hear it from Rogir but, seeing how he's a human, he's naturally not to be trusted. It was that and that the aliens wanted to play around with him. Hammer quickly orders the Elites to not kill anything without his permission, which the aliens grudgingly agree to. Hammer then says that, as Fleetmaster, he's supposed to test the aliens on their human knowledge, which serves as a viable excuse for them.

He then asks once more for their ages, which the aliens quickly state that they are 14.1 Human Years old. Hammer then asks for their ranks, which are Priva Geeves (sp?), or, as referred to in human terms, generals. Hammer corrects them, saying that their incompetence would theoretically rank them as privates.

Back at the valley, Willy and Rogir are apparently suffering horribly from their drinking which, according to Rogir, had been three or so kegs. Willy tells Rogir to suck it up, however, Rogir can't take it and throws up in the river, Willy asking where he got the carrots. Rogir asks where Willy's robot is, though Willy says that his robot is as dumb as Rogir. After a brief, drunken argument, Willy is able to trick Rogir into saying that Willy's robot was as dumb as himself, causing Willy to laugh. Willy says that the robot's probably malfunctioning or something and that he should be focusing on his prisoner, though Rogir comments that he's too drunk to be his prisoner and that prisoners are captured for intelligence. Rogir then offers to gain his freedom in exchange for juicy information, though Willy isn't interested at first. However, Willy gains his attention when he learns that the intelligence is about Hammer.

Back at central, Vollin exclaims that the Pink Squad's idea was madness, though one of them comments that it's Zambai for now. The two Pink Squad commanders then argue over the switch, though Vollin declares that she's the general and that, if anyone is going to bomb the base, it was going to be her. One of the Pink Squad commanders commends her and says that she reminds him of some kind of masculine guy back at Amsterdam, which Vollin believes is a compliment. Vollin asks what exactly the button does, in which one of the commanders explains that it launches a series of explosions that would theoretically mimic the destructive powers of a nuke. Vollin presses the button, destroying the base with an impressive explosions that astounds the general.

One of the commanders comments how it was a shame that Meme was killed in the explosion, but when Vollin exclaims what exactly they had said, they consealed that fact. They then asked when Vollin was out of earshot if their true orders from command were still secret. He said that she probably didn't suspect anything, but their relaxation was short-lived when the report said that there were still survivors, where the two exclaimed "Inconceivable!"

The scene then briefly switches to Willy and Rogir, the former obviously intrigued by the juicy intel on Hammer, before coming to Hammer, who was eavesdropping on the aliens. The aliens are obviously suspicious of Hammer, though they still come back to their plan on destroying Triple M. Hammer interjects, asking who they were going to destroy. The aliens tell him of their plans and ask who Triple M was. However, Hammer uses this to his advantage and tells the aliens that Triple M was the designation of a unit led by the purple general and her blue and yellow lackey. The aliens curse Rogir and prepare plans to destroy Vollin's forces, and Hammer vows to help them fulfill their quest and avenge their father's honor.

[edit] Part C

Meanwhile, Triple M and Meme are pursued by Vollin's forces. Triple M asks Meme if she can gun, where the medic quickly says that she has no training in the operation of the turret. Triple M asks Meme if she can drive, in which the medic says that she's not that blonde and that she can drive easily.

The two engage in vehicular combat with Vollin's forces, though Triple M becomes a bit arrogant during the battle and trash talks the forces, accidentally exclaiming his real name, Mitch Miles Murthy, during the battle. However, Meme accidentally drive under a platform and knocks Triple M off of the turret seat, and gets surrounded soon after.

Meanwhile, Rogir finishes his tale of Hammer, and Willy feels enlightened by this new view of his commanding officer as a result. Rogir asks if he can leave now, but Willy says that he must first give intelligence on Triple M. Rogir asks if Willy knows his true name, in which Willy says that his true name IS Triple M. Rogir dismisses this, telling Willy Triple M's true name.

However, it is cut off by Hammer, explaining that Vollin and Rogir were their true enemies and that eliminating them would be their first task. The aliens ask if they would get in trouble as a result, though Hammer says that, if they're accused as traitors, they would be able to safely eliminate him. Hammer says that the Fifth Intergalactic Infantry Battalion are likely candidates for allies and says that they should be considered allies in defeating Vollin. However, the aliens recall several radio accounts saying how the Fifth were one of the most incompetent squads out there. Hammer attempts to defend his squad, though seems to go without effect. Boltri comments that Vollin sounds like someone that they could use, in which Hammer imprisons Boltri as a result.

Meanwhile, Willy says that he doesn't really get it. Rogir asks Willy if he had heard of Triple M's name from anyone, though Willy said that no one, not even Hammer, knew of it. Rogir realized with horror that, since Triple M had been promoted, something bad would happen, and told Willy to tell Hammer to demote Triple M as soon as possible. Willy asked what the big deal was if Triple M was Sergeant Murphy, and is struck by a lightning bolt promptly as a result.

[edit] Episode 13: "All Hail the Murphy"

The only episode in the second season that isn't split into separate parts. The episode starts with Willy's resounding echo of why Sergeant Murphy was such a big deal. Willy then says that there was a Disturbance in the Force, though Rogir asks if that could possibly be the aftereffects of being struck by three bolts of lightning consecutively. Willy explains that he had been struck by worse, but he is interrupted by Spriggs, who runs him over with a Warthog. Rogir, miraculously, isn't hit by the Warthog. He turns and watches Willy pursue Spriggs, firing rockets randomly at the fleeing soldier. Rogir comments how his luck must be turning up since he wasn't injured at any point, but is soon hit by a rocket and blown into the air.

Willy chases Spriggs but is caught off guard as the Spartan halts his vehicle, and Willy smashes into the Warthog as a result. After running over Willy numerous times and slamming her rifle into Willy's body, Spriggs flees. Willy vows to rise again and take his revenge on Spriggs, but is run over by the aliens in a tank soon after.

Meanwhile, Triple M lands on a platform after being smashed into the windmill. He searches for Meme quickly after, but Rogir crashes in front of him soon after. Seizing his opportunity, Rogir points his rifle at Triple M and takes him prisoner. Triple M, however, isn't at all frightened and asks who Rogir was. Rogir first begins blabbing on how it was Triple M's fault that this happened, then ranted on until he reached that he would not be the prisoner this time under any circumstances, gaining a paranoia of being held captive. Triple M attempts to escape, though Rogir stops him and threatens to shoot the green Spartan. Triple M asks if it was possible to shoot someone with an empty gun and, while Rogir checks to see if a magazine was loaded in his rifle, Triple M locks his pistol onto Rogir, making Rogir the prisoner (again).

The aliens arrive shortly after and, mistaking Triple M and Rogir as part of Vollin's group (The Triple Ms), they prepare to fire on the group. Hammer, who is leading the aliens, quickly pleads for the aliens to cease fire as "A man should know why he has to die.", but Rotri remedies this and announces that they were their to restore their father's honor and that they would blow them up and parade their bodies. Triple M quickly flees, saying that it sucked to be Rogir, and Hammer orders fire on Rogir. Rogir curses at Hammer before fleeing.

Meanwhile, Willy orders his robotic servant, ACM3, to bring up A Manufactured Triple M's Mecha Death Ray Design: Model 283. After a few programming errors, Willy stops Spriggs in a Wraith. Before either could make a move, Rogir, followed by Triple M, followed by the aliens, and finally followed by Hammer rush through all of them. Willy comments on Hammer's new look, and Hammer responds by requesting for assistance. Spriggs quickly rushes after them, but, due to a manufacturing error, the Wraith refuses to turn. Willy quickly gets out of his vehicle and pursues Spriggs.

Meanwhile, Meme explains that she's just a simple medic in the Geneva Convention, though the Pink Squad, after showing a complete misunderstanding of what the Geneva Conevntion was, says that they just wanted to 'interrogate' Meme. Meme asks the commander if he was hitting on her, though the commander calmly explains that EVERYONE in the Pink Squad was hitting on her.

Sarah Pink and the rest of the Rainbow Squad arrive, though. Colm Red exclaims that they were there to kick their communist, NeoNazi, German butts but, after a short explanation from the commander that the entire Pink Squad weren't Communists, Nazis, Germans, or even all Europeans, the Pink Squad assembles all Pinks to attack the Rainbow Squad. In a complete display of absolute stupidity, Sarah Pink joins the Pinks, saying that he said that Pinks were to assemble and that she joined them as a result.

After the two comment on the stupidity, Meme excuses herself to the restroom, Sarah attempting to join her but being deterred by the Pink Squad commander. The Rainbows and Pinks prepare to duel each othe, but Rogir, Triple M, the aliens, Hammer, Willy, and Spriggs cut between them in their wild chase. Vollin arrives shortly after and, seeing all of the Fifth assembled, orders her men and the Pinks to give chase. The Rainbows give pursuit to the pursuing Pinks. After the credits, Meme emerges from the bathroom to see everyone gone.

[edit] Characters

[edit] Main Characters

[edit] Specialist Spriggs

"Beep beep!" - Spriggs's signature line

The main protagonist of the series and is one of the fifth intergalactic infantry. Specialist Spriggs was once a scout for the army and champion of the Marines Moped team, little information is known about Spriggs's whereabouts and has never actually spoken to his teammates. he is also very known for his occasional runaways on his mongoose from Specialist Willy, noted to not be within 2.4 miles of Specialist Willy. he is 23 years of age and he weighs 134 pounds out of armor.

Official Spriggs Information

Former Posting: Scout, Champion of Marines Moped Team, Top Ranked Sniper

Spriggs remains the mystery in the Fifth Intergalactic Infantry Battalion. No one can find any details about his past. All requests seem to dead end at ONI central office, or the barrel of a Gun.

In fact, the only history Spriggs has seems to be with Willy, whose hatred runs deep for Spriggs. However, despite the antagonism, Spriggs has on occasion saved and or helped Willy. Why is the question on everyone's mind. There are also rumors that state that Spriggs is a girl.

[edit] Lieutenant Hammer

"Willy! I'm gonna kick your ass as soon as I can feel my goddamn legs!" - Hammer, yelling at a fleeing Willy

One of the other main characters in the series. Lt. Hammer was once a Captain (announced that he should have never became one) of the Army. He is well known for his laziness and was charged twice with fraternizing with his subordinates, thus giving him the nickname; "Stars to Bars." He never seems to get anything done which led to his joining of the fifth intergalactic infantry. He is oldest of the crew on Zambai 7 and weighs 191 pounds out of armor.

Official Spriggs Information

Hammer came to Zambai 7 from Zambai Central Command to replace that late Major Kake, Commander Fritz, and the rest of the commissioned officers of the new reduced First Battalion.

If ever there was a man who picked the wrong line of work it was Hammer. He never should have been an officer, and whoever let him graduate from the academy should be shot. He barely pays attention to his men, twice he's been charged with fraternizing with his subordinates, and he never seems to have any luck with getting anything done.

In fact, if his combat record wasn't so good, they'd have gotten rid of him a long time a go. Multiple enemy kills, including an elite in hand to hand combat, the stuff of marine legends. If only he was as good at anything else...

[edit] Specialist Willy

"Get out of the tank! That thing's still under lease and I don't want to blow it, cause I have that power. Augh, crap." - Willy, being attacked by Spriggs in a tank

One of the most notable characters in Spriggs, he is known for his uncontrollable anger and "losing it". Willy is a expert on Demolition and Entrenched Defenses and is always trying to kill Spriggs on a everyday basis. When he was part of the Army, he was awarded the purple heart and a silver star for his work in destroying a Covenant Carrier, and after the effects, he was sent to a awards ceremony when he suddenly "lost it" and knocked out a General after being triggered by Spriggs and ended up joining the squad. Willy is 27 years old and ways 210 pounds out of armor.

Official Spriggs Information

Former Posting: Combat Engineer

Technical Specialties: Demolitions and Entrenched Defenses

Specialist Willy is considered a 'prime risk' by ONI, given his technical expertise mixed with uncontrolled aggression. His temper is prone to flare ups (noted by the unit as him 'loosing it' or having 'lost it') which result in damage to everything within a couple kilometers and normally injuries to himself.

To be fair, Willy also has several accommodations besides the purple heart from the war with the Covenent, including a Silver Star for his roll in destroying a Covenant Carrier with equipment provided by a unit of turn-coat grunts following the initial invasion. During the award ceremony however he 'lost it', knocking out a general before a Spartan on hand for the event restrained him. Apparently this was trigger by Spriggs, who was onhand for the celebration.

He's a genius with electronics and explosives but a failure at life in general. The military would courtmartial him, if only they were given the fire support to do so...

[edit] Sergeant Mitch Miles Murphy (Triple M)

"You're the lieutenant! I'm not even a sergeant!"

"That's a good point. Let's rectify that, shall we?"

"Aw, crap." - Triple M, being tricked into his sergeant promotion by Hammer

Triple M is the youngest and latest addition to the fifth intergalactic infantry (although Spriggs is technically the youngest in the squad). Triple M's history is known as one of the biggest mistakes in army history, once part of the "Rainbow Squad", according to the Army, no one ever told the Rainbow Squad that the Elites where now at peace with the humans but, Triple M had captured the Elite's general, and took him to Zambai 7. And had some "fun" with him before he was returned home and the general noted that he was not pleased with the tu-tu. Since they were not informed of the hostilities, Rainbow Squad was relived of all charges and Triple M was place within the fifth. Triple M is 24 years of age and he weighs 170 pounds out of armor. His real name is Mitch Miles Murphy...

Official Spriggs Information

Age: 24

Weight Out of Armor: 170lbs

Former Posting: Rifleman

Specialties: Ambidextrous Combat, Pistols, Mechanical Engineering with training in covenant engineering

Triple M is the latest member of the fifth, transferred in from 'the rainbow squad' where he was supposedly responsible for a political mess with the elites than can only be described as 'weird' and 'interesting'. Apparently, no one told them we were at peace, so they waltz over, kidnapped the Elite's general on Zambai 7 and had some fun with him even after they were told to return him. The general was not pleased with the Tu-tu.

Since they had not received word of the end of hostilities, they were technically cleared of all charges. He was, however, put in the fifth for safe keeping.

Since then, he's rode through his time in the fifth as per the continuing disaster it is, barely dodging death and dismemberment. Sometimes at the hands of the rest of the crew, other times at the hands of some of hairbrained mechanical mess.

[edit] Captain Meme

"Your meat is and always was 4F, unfit for consumption." - Meme, speaking to Hammer

The Captain of the medical corp. and is not exactly a good medical officer. Hammer and Meme know each other but don't like each other much, yet are often seen talking to each other when it comes to matters.

Official Spriggs Information

Age: 23

Weight Out of Armor: 160lbs

Former Posting: Head of Mash Unit 7704th, Stationed at Zambai base one

Specialties: Combat Medicine, Logistical Organization, Covenant Anatomy

Captain Meme was the acting head of the 7704th during the planned invasion, with a spotless war record and only slightly marred service record dating back to the 'incident' with Hammer. Known for her no-nonsense demeanor, she never breaks stride except in relation to Hammer. Hammer on the other hand brings on signs of dementia in her, starting with stress and ending with bad surgery and disfigurement.

Her skills in combat are considered so-so, with absolutely no training in heavy artillery, but her medical skills and observational ability have made her a valued resource everywhere else.

[edit] General Vollin

"We lost contact with Rogir, which means in all likely hood he was captured, tortured in unspeakable ways, then disposed of..." - Vollin, speaking to the First Semi-Mechanized Infantry Battalion

Nicknamed General V, she is the General in charge of monitoring and controlling the battalion overall.

Official Spriggs Information

Rank: General

Weight Out of Armor: 162 lbs

Former Posting: Classified

Specialties: Large Scale Combat Maneuvers

General Vollin graduated top of her class from West Point, only to then lead one of the largest disasters in Earth's military history immediately following her relatively easy rise to the top. The court of inquiry found that she suffered from being overly aggressive, often charging in rather than setting up a defensive line, and once past the paper exams she considered logistics academic.

Therefore, when Project Zambai was proposed, she was deemed a natural choice for the leadership of the assault.

[edit] Lieutenant Rogir

"For my monologues, they sent me away. For my sins, they sent me to Zambai Seven." Rogir, in yet another monologue

Rogir is assigned by Vollin to keep an eye on the battalion, only to get captured by the three aliens. He comments on the Elite general Triple M put in a tu-tu turning out to be the dad of the aliens.

Official Spriggs Information

Former Posting: Head MP of Zambai, Pre invasion, Assigned to Office of Naval Intelligence security detail

Specialties: Ability to chew gum and walk at the same time. Observational Skills, Stealth training, ability to stake out

Rogir history in the military has been... checkered. Not bad at any task perse, he just fell victim to a little bit of bad luck and a little bit of timing. There is just something that happened. He told central command about Reach, and Halo, and the Flood.

Of course, his monologue has been more than epic enough to shade his reputation. When the bad news takes fifteen minutes, it doesn't help. When the good news takes so long no one cares, it's even worse. Still, he had useful talents, and more than once his talent for gab has turned a criminal straight.

Therefore, it was deemed a small sacrifice to add a semi-competent officer to the staff of Volin. It was the perfect match, the man who couldn't stop talking with the woman who just wouldn't listen.

[edit] Soltri

"Jeez, do you ever stop bitching?"

"Only when I don't have a pistol pointed at my head."

*shotgun is drawn*

"Oh, that's so much more comforting." - Soltri, being commanded by Triple M

Official Spriggs Information

Specialties: Common Sense

Soltri is the oldest of the three brothers, and was the one complaining the loudest and longest about Rotri's idea to 'borrow' their dad's cruisers. He was also the first to say 'I told you so!' after the crash.

Since then Soltri's job has been to collect and manage the meager resources they have, and to attempt to contact home base. So far, both missions have been a failure due to his brother's bungling nature, but none the less he perseveres.

Currently, he's learning how to boil grass and becoming quite adept at the art of human cuisine, particularly at the preparation of Barbecue and Roast Grey Suit.

[edit] Rotri

"I've got spikes sticking out of my chest!" Rotri, trying to remind Soltri and Boltri of his condition

Official Spriggs Information

Specialties: Sleeping, Acting, Smashing things, and Vehicle Combat

Rotri is a Middle Child, and has for the most part left an uneventful life. Never one to cause trouble, he managed decently during training and enjoyed the act of killing and maiming other species, a sign that he was to go far. However, Rotri lacked one important element that put this in doubt: A survival instinct. Therefore his father ordered that he was never to be given a cruiser of his own, till he stabilized a bit.

Never one to be detoured, Rotri took this as a challenge, and with the aid of his brothers stole the 'Hand of Fate' to go fight the humans man to man.

Nine months after the crash on Zambai, he still remains confident in the righteousness of his actions.

[edit] Boltri

"Hey, mom and dad were second cousins! That's totally and perfectly legal."

"Second cousins? Isn't that what you call brother and sister?"

"I'm gonna make this slow and painful." - Boltri, being insulted by Rogir

Official Spriggs Information

Specialties: Explosives, Death, and Human Culture

No one knows if Boltri was dropped on his head at birth, or if he was merely irradiated, but something was definitely wrong with him as a child. Almost from birth, he had a destructive streak that rivaled may small destroyers, with an evil sense of humor that occasionally left grunts on fire and dancing in circles. None the less, since his intelligence otherwise seemed in tact, he was trained in Earth culture to assist the Covenant in destroying their hated enemies.

Talked into stealing the Cruiser by his older brother Rotri, he's had nothing but fun as time went on, learning more and more about human culture and how to kill them.

[edit] Major Characters

[edit] The Pink Squad

Former Posting: Earth

Specialties: Omega Class Scenarios, Explosions

A squad called out personally by Vollin to destroy the Fifth, the Pink Squad is slightly ruthless and destructive, though its skills are impeded by its unique demeanors and tendency to kill first. They apparently have a personal vendetta against Triple M, as they intended on killing him despite his helpless condition. Apparently, they were also on orders from HQ to kill all of the Fifth, though these orders were not known by Vollin. Despite their accents, the Pink Squad aren't all Communists, Nazis, Germans, or even European. They all seem to hold a crush on Meme.

[edit] Rainbow Squad

An elite squad of soldiers who are named by color and all wear Hayabusa. They are apparently held in high regard, despite the fact that they had accidentally dressed an Elite general in a tutu when they didn't know of the Human-Elite alliance. This had accidentally caused the general's sons, Soltri, Boltri, and Rotri, to swear death to Triple M as a result.

[edit] Sarah Pink

Specialties: Talking Endlessly

The only known Rainbow Squad member other than Triple M. Triple M knows of inability to keep a secret but, seeing how the others are unreachable at the moment, he tells her of the conspiracy. She then goes on to tell her Kitty Killer Bot Personal Diary, which had transmitted her entry, which was the conspiracy she heard from Triple M, to everyone on Zambai. She is later seen on Zambai 7 assisting the Rainbow Squad in fighting the Pinks, though her evident stupidity delays the battle long enough for everyone to disrupt the fighting.

[edit] Jim Black

The supposed leader of Rainbow Squad. He was last known to be having private time. He was later seen assisting the Rainbow Squad against the Pinks. Due to his accent, he could be German, like most of the Pink Squad.

[edit] Colm Red

Another member of Rainbow Squad, though seems to be the primary leader of the Rainbow Squad. He is the only one that has a Katana and is the one that speaks the most in the recent episode the Rainbow Squad were featured in. He apparently has a knack for insulting other people.

[edit] Wendy Yellow

Another member of Rainbow Squad. She was last known to be having private time with Jim Black. Whether or not a relationship has developed between the two is unknown. She was last seen aiding the Rainbow Squad against the Pinks.

[edit] Philip Blue

Another member of Rainbow Squad, who apparently has a crush on Wendy Yellow. He was last known to be crying over his lost love and watching Triple M's hentai, which gave Meme disturbing images. He was later seen aiding the Rainbow Squad against the Pinks.

[edit] Minor Characters

[edit] The Computer

"...and whatever you do; don't go for the cake. That's how we lost the major" Willy to Sergeant Tripple M on working the computer to open the door

Former Posting: Zambai 7 Central Base

Specialties: Obibital Bombardment, Turn On/Off All Lights, Open/Close All Doors, Flame Turrets, Background Music, Floor Spikes, Nerve Gas, Cake (Deadly Neurotoxins)

A computer assigned by Vollin to spy directly on the Fifth, the computer easily carried out its task with swift efficiency though, by some means, Willy learned of its betrayal and interrogated the computer. Triple M later downloaded and reformatted all of the information that it held, though it seemed intent on letting everyone on Zambai know of the conspiracy to leave them all on the planet. The computer was destroyed, along with the rest of Central Base, in the nuking executed by Vollin and the Pink Squad

[edit] Running Jokes

[edit] Willy's Team Killing

Willy's various shenanigans in killing Spriggs end up harming one individual or another, mostly himself and the people around him, though he has yet to harm Spriggs. However, in a flashback, it is observed that Willy had successfully harmed Spriggs, or at least blew up his Mongoose. However, he was blown up by Tripmines soon after.

[edit] Triple M's Anime

Triple M is an avid anime fan, a tribute to RunningGun's fascination with anime, and therefore his anime is referenced constantly. Hammer threatened to burn all of his anime (or as he called it cartoon porn) if he didn't take control of Willy and Spriggs in the first episode, and it is later observed in the 10th episode that fragments of his anime, or at least hentai, were left with Rainbow Squad, as Philip Blue was watching some while grieving over Wendy Yellow. Strickly speaking the anime that Triple M likes is Anime porn.

[edit] Spriggs's Mongoose

Spriggs's Mongoose is his/her primary mode of transportation and her 2nd weapon, her primary choice being a Sniper Rifle. She apparently has two, as she pulls out a second one after Willy speeds off with her first. It is also her only way of speaking, as Spriggs has always spoken in beeps, be it the horn of the Mongoose, which oddly changes tone to reflect her expression, and when she described Hammer's condition after Meme healed him, again bleeped out to keep with the tradition. However, it is said in Major Pain that she had actually spoken for the first time, though this has yet to be confirmed.

[edit] Willy's Supplier

An unnamed, unseen individual in the series who Willy apparently knows. His supplier is somehow able to give Willy several deliveries of weapons, supplies, and fast food, though is said by Willy to constantly ride off with Spriggs. One reason why Willy might be angry with Spriggs is that Spriggs is a bad influence for his supplier. In episode 12 it revealed that Willy's supplier is a monitor-like robot (which turns out to be a highly advanced piece of machinery).

[edit] Spriggs vs. Willy

Spriggs and Willy evidently share a fierce rivalry with one another, which runs deep as his placement in Zambai was due to him knocking unconscious a general because of Spriggs. However, the two have aided one another on several occassions, though Willy's reasoning was that he wanted to kill Spriggs himself and didn't want killstealers taking away his prize. What caused this feud or how long and deep it ran is unknown.

[edit] Links

• Spriggs: a Halo 3 Machinima
• Spriggs: a Halo 3 Machinima YouTube Channel
• Running Gun Productions